So, fed up of having sand kicked in your face? Want to set yourself apart from the herd? Want to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex? Why not apply for Silk? Here is Ruthie’s easy step by step guide…
1. Start being extra nice to all your professional contacts. You’ll need them for references (10 required).
2. Dig a big hole.
3. Throw money in (3k to be precise)
4. Fill in a long form, send off your references.
5. Wait
6a. Failure, whoops, better luck next time. Start again from the top next year.
6b. Success!! Now..continue
7. Dig a big hole
8. Throw money in (3.5k)
9. Buy fancy clothes (700 quid)
10. Organise party and other sundries (2k)
11. Change your email address from joebloggs@mail.co.uk to joebloggsqc@mail.co.uk
11. Wait
12. Hope that the premium you can charge for doing work as a silk makes up for the value of all the work you can no longer do.
For further information check out the website or send 50 quid in non sequential notes in a brown envelope to Ruthie marked “Get me Silk”. You may still not get silk, but Ruthie promise to invest the money back into the blog. Or a new snowboard.
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