Given the truly comically dire position Gordon ‘Velcro’ Brown is in Geeklawyer thought he’d bail him out by volunteering to be a minister. Fortunately with the Intarwebs, emailing the PM is pretty easy: one just goes here.
My email was this:
Date: 6th June 2009
Subject: Cabinet positions
Dear Gordy,
Been a bit of a shambles this ministerial resignations malarkey.
I can see just how desperate you are for new Ministers looking at the dregs you trawled in. I mean Glennis Kinnock? Alan Sugar? A taffy & a chavy?
Fear not however, I am making myself available to take up a ministerial position. Mercifully I don’t have to be an MP which is jolly good: not entirely sure I approve of democracy since the property owning qualification was abolished. Some fearful oiks vote. Of course in the Neo-Labour party political belief is optional so my indifference shouldn’t be too much of an issue, eh?
Note that I will have mistresses & ‘optimise’ my expenses: however I will do so in a way the press wont be able to detect: no banana skins from me as minister.
Will start as Home Secretary on July 1st. Have ministerial limo pick me up at the crack of 11, back at 4. Blogged my appointment hope that’s not too cheeky:
http://blog.geeklawyer.org/2009/06/06/geeklawyer-gets-a-cabinet-post/
The world and his dog have commented on the European Court saying that keeping the DNA of the innocent, notwithstanding that it helped catch criminals, got the balance wrong.
The ECHR gets things badly wrong: it failed to protect the pivotal right to silence for example and so Geeklawyer had little confidence it would do the right thing. In the event it did. This nasty little populist authoritarian Labour government didn’t just lose narrowly it got about as comprehensive a drubbing as it was to get. A unanimous 17 Judge bench trashed them on all key points.
Short of seeing Tony Bliar fed into a mincing machine feet first Geeklawyer’s day could hardly have been more enjoyable.
The Government is now desperately scrabbling around for strategies to keep its police state powers intact as far as is possible.
The Government suffered a truly massive kicking in the House of Lords over it’s cynical “Vote For Us & We’ll Protect You From Terrorists” bill.
Jacky Smith read her script in the commons in the customary lack lustre fashion: Her drunken spin was seen tripping over the truth and crashing into solid evidence before falling into the road, only to be run over by a truck driven by wide eyed and alert Lords.
The fundamental argument she made were as always: “It may be useful in the future, we don’t know, so lets have it just in case”; “we, uniquely in all the world, need 42 days when no-one else does”; “We are fighting a new & unique menace”, and so we need new and uniquely menacing legislation.
Everyone else mocked her and the Government’s stance as transparent terrorbollocks pandering to Daily Mail headlines and engaging in political machismo, as Geeklawyer has said many times before, in the hope of getting more votes.
Some news reports are just too weird to be plausible. When one thinks of John Prescott, the lard-ass ex deputy Labour party leader with an unsurpassed talent for inarticulate gibberish, a number of images spring to mind. One that doesn’t is John hunched over a toilet bowl returning his lunch to the wild. It seems he has come out of the closet (Perhaps Viscount Linley’s?) as a bulimic. Frankly, if this:
is what he looks like after bulimia he seems to be a pretty good example to use for girls with eating disorder: Bulimia will make you look like this.
On a similar warning note if you are member of an old aristocratic English family you may be worried about the dangers of inbreeding. Of course the same even applies if you are a bunch of krauts like the Saxe-Coburg & Gotha’s Windsors. If your family’s gene pool is a little shallow then making it deeper by filling it with 20,000 gallons of sewage from retardess Princess Di’s family might not be the smartest move. Proof you say? Oh fuck dude, pick up a paper. Or look at the recent news of pretty boy Princess William’s empty headed £30k joyride in an RAF Chinook helicopter for no better purpose than to impress some bimbo he wants to fuck up the arse.
Jealous Geeklawyer? Fuck yea.
Geeklawyer doesn’t buy into the tabloid hysteria about all things Islamic, but one repellent aspect of Islam is Shariah law with it’s barbaric primitive and cretinous belief that cutting off the hands of thieves, stoning adulterers and coercing women into servility is good.
So he was somewhat horrified that it should gain any measure, even the merest toehold, of recognition by UK law as proposed by the Muslim community. Their pitch starts of promisingly: “radical Islam is a myth: we only want personal law dealt with under Sharia, not penal or worship law”. It then proceeds at a rapid pace downhill by asserting that by cutting off hands we could be a crime free society like Saudi Arabia.
Call him fussy but Geeklawyer will take the odd burglary or mugging rather than live in a despotic totalitarian hell-hole presided over by degenerate racist oligarchs who oppress their citizens’ civil liberties in order to maintain their own wealth and power.
If he wanted all of that he’d vote New Labour.
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It is rumoured that Sleazy Tony was a bit miffed that he wasn’t as rich as he felt he deserved to be. Supposedly his heroic self-sacrifice in giving up a failed career at the Bar and suffering the indignity of living off his QC wife’s earnings and reputation wasn’t truly recompensed by his public salary.
His plan then became to use the Labour party to develop a post prime ministerial career by changing it’s policies to whatever was expedient and sucking off any helpful US president.
It looks like the plan paid off: JP Morgan are paying him a million a year (part-time only, obviously). In addition he is getting half a million for speeches and ‘consultancy’ work, plus £5.8 million for a book.
Nice. Shame about the hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians murdered, the hundreds of British troops killed and the civil liberties destroyed but, hey, you can’t make an omelet without cracking voters.
Ruthie is the first with the news that she gets her fondest wish. Having bitched about how silly wearing 400 year old horse hair is she rejoices that the Lord Chief Justice has announced that in criminal trials non-lawyers can wear wigs. Oh, Sorry, Geeklawyer meant to say that solicitor-inadequates can now dress in the same manner as the real lawyers. Ruthie will, of course, not be accused of hypocrisy and, as she is free to do under the changes, she will refuse to wear anything other than her normal attire (not leathers), not a wig in sight.
Geeklawyer, on the other hand, now that he is returning to private practice, is in the difficult position of deciding whether to fork out £800 for a wig collars & bands or wait till January when they aren’t needed. Perhaps the judiciary will cut him some slack if he decides on a sports jacket & Hush Puppies?
Frankly, why the fuck can they not just let things be? The previous report came to no firm conclusion and it is difficult to do other than draw the conclusion that this is a cost saving measure relieving the state of a couple of hundred grand for judges dress. As usual our fine traditions are being thrown out for no reason other than pandering to the Treasury, New Labour ‘modernist’ fuckwits and the envy of the junior branches of the profession.
Published on
23 May 2007 in
litigation.
Tags: CPR, disclosure, evidence, examination, Germany, IP, judge, Laddie, legal aid, legal proceedings, litigation, New Labour, patents, Times, Woolf.
Nearly Legal accused Geeklawyer of being expensive and posted an interesting link to a Times Online article by none other than Professor Sir Hugh Laddie ex-IP judge and mauler of Graceland (nice job on that one BTW Hugh).
Continue reading ‘Is Geeklawyer *really* too expensive?’
The BBC is reporting that Lord ‘fatty’ Falconer is refusing to meet the judiciaries worries over the constitutional impropriety of him being both their head and being responsible for prisons.
So, much the same as usual.
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