Geeklawyer is in Swissyland at the moment, in a ski resort that is looking rather green and forlorn. The Swissies are trying to encourage summer visitors because of their well known shortage of money.
The mountains are very large and mountainy and the Swissies are jolly odd people. They will insist on talking at one at the most inopportune moments, such as at breakfast or when one is necking a pint. Geeklawyer suspects that he don’t like them that much: a bit like puppies or toddlers, fun for 10 minutes then one wants to stamp on their necks.
Unfortunately there are lots of Dutch people here also: the Swissies have an arguable right to be here. Geeklawyer used to like the Dutch but then they went all mad and right-wing. The only Dutchmen he ever sees abroad are trailer trash with lots of cheap jewellery and Matellan skirts: the women aren’t much better, but they do at least have better moustaches than the Italian women.
Geeklawyer is, of course, offending people and chatting up totty. The two things coinciding neatly: his barmaid understood him when he summoned her by the name ‘Hot Bar Wench’ which was a tad embarrassing as he had assumed a poor command of English (which was surprisingly common).
Here is a picture of Swissieland. Memorise it — it may help you if you wind up here lost.
I hope to be back at wotk soon. Holidays getting boring.
Well, no, not the last post. Geeklawyer isn’t doing a Ruthie style cut and run from blogging. No, you don’t get that lucky. Nor is Geeklawyer about to die as a result of eating lethal Fugu this evening.
Rather, he is inconsolable with grief that he has to return to the UK now that his sojourn in Japan is done. Back to the world of work. For 3 days anyway, then he goes to Switzerland for another holiday.
In the meantime here is a brief medley of his holiday videos. Aw, come on, you have to put up with your fucking parent’s vacation videos why not Geeklawyer’s?
To his surprise the urchin was delicious. Very soft texture. The squid would have been good but the suckers are boney and made it very crunchy — in a bad way. And also one could feel the suckers hanging on to one’s tongue.
Frankly, while Geeklawyer admires the instinct for self-preservation the squid should have realised that it had already been cut up already and was not going to go home: Geeklawyer would have respected it more if it had reflected on it’s fate with insouciant calm and gone to it’s maker with dignity.
Some commentators will regret Geeklawyer’s visit was accident free. Not so much as a turned ankle. More perturbing was the earthquake that shook, no rocks landed on his head and the earth moved for women around him.
Mount Fuji is hard climb of that there is no doubt. It is some 3776 metres to the summit and Geeklawyer felt each and every damned metre. But he did, at least, make it while many don’t; those many months hillwalking in the UK paid some dividend.
Some of the difficulty was down to the rucksack load Geeklawyer chose. He had been told incorrectly that no water or food was available on the mountain, so he calculated for 24 hours of needs: lots of food & 9.5litres of fluid to combat 85 degree heat and 90% humidity — even discounting high altitude. In the end the pack was about 40 pounds all in. It turns out to have been a disastrous miscalculation and some bad information: food & water was available at the top five stations (rest huts) on the mountain: it was merely expensive. Geeklawyer has done some tough trekking but this damned near killed him: he carried the 40 pounds up about 2000 metres before deciding to give away half the pack to grateful Japanese nearby.
20 hours of climbing later, much of it done at night so as to hit the top by dawn, as Japanese religious tradition requires, Geeklawyer arrived. The guidance reckons around 11 to 12 hours from the base of the mountain so he was a little below par, but those 20 hours includes 5 hours sleeping at station eight at 3000 metres. And, mind you, that figure is arrived at by timing Japanese grannies, who all seem to sprint up the hill carrying their own bodyweight in supplies, so not too shabby.
While up the mountain Geeklawyer even met a very sweet Australian chick who expressed the desire for Geeklawyer to keep her company on the ascent. Geeklawyer wasn’t sure what to make of this: a) a hot Australian chick, and b) one who didn’t run away screaming notwithstanding the obstacle of the life affirming ascent needed to make good an escape. Perhaps she was mad? Perhaps he should rebuff her firmly. Still, he thought, never screw someone on the way up — you may need them on the way down. She retired from the mountain with her honour and sanity intact. Not many women can say that. Thanks Ailsa.
A once in a lifetime event he can’t wait to repeat. Was the view worth the effort?
There is only one thing about Japan that Geeklawyer does not much care for: the heat. If the sun in the Land of the Rising Sun rose just little less high it might be bearable, but by Christ it’s hot.
But Hiroshima is hot in more than one sense: the reason for Geeklawyer’s visit. On August 6th 1945, rather uncharacteristically, the US dumped a bomb very nearly on the target it was going for, a bridge, and hit the exact administrative centre of Hiroshima. This was, in Geeklawyer’s opinion, some some pretty damned good shooting from 32,000 feet; props to the Enola Gay team.
But in what was to set an historical precedent followed from Vietnam to Iraq & Afghanistan the bomb slaughtered vast numbers of innocent civilians who were then claimed to be enemy combatants: an American general pathetically claimed all the civilians killed were legitimate targets as part of the Japanese war effort: they were supposedly making nuts bolts etc, for the military. This bears the hall marks of what happens in Iraq/Afghanistan now: the SOP is for US troops to drop captured guns near civilians they kill and claim they were fired on. Really, that simply isn’t cricket, in fact it’s very naughty indeed.
In any event, regardless of the personal danger from residual radiation Geeklawyer felt morally compelled to come to Hiroshima as an act of solidarity with its suffering people. The next time some pacifist twat calls Geeklawyer a left-wing/right-wing warmonger Geeklawyer can look him in the eye and say that he deliberately soaked up ionising beta particles that would otherwise have ravaged a Japanese child. And probably a puppy too. And maybe also a lost Hello Kitty. Hell, Geeklawyer is a fucking Nuclear Hero, but where is his medal? Eh? Sold to pay someone’s welfare cheque, that’s where.
If you are in Hiroshima the Bomb Museum is well worth a visit with some pathetic and very poignant exhibits; regrettably Geeklawyer was rather appalled at the pacifist bias and the, frankly, rather over-priced t-shirts. Mass slaughter is never an excuse for losing objectivity or price gouging. A blot on an otherwise rather good visit.
Also rather dubious was the assertion that the Peace Park’s memorial flame would only be put out when the last nuclear weapon was destroyed.
This is mere braggadocio; a well aimed nuclear weapon would put this flame out easily.
The Bank Holiday coming up; Geeklawyer has just finished tramping across the South Downs; the Sun is shining; beer is plentiful (Stella leftover from a party but hey, at least he has Perry cider), en ex-girfriend is finally getting her life sorted out and Princess Dianna has been dead ten years.
So what? so nothing, these are all good things: Geeklawyer is just in a fine mood. He thought it might be useful to point out that he is not all drunken deranged posts. No mention shall be made of the evil legal blogger who incited Geeklawyer to get drunk and rant. Tut tut.
So, the summer time is upon us. And lawyers are looking to cast aside their professional cares in favour of frippery sand and spades. Geeklawyer should be attending a geeky event in Crete: hacking and Plato. Bliss. However his devotion to his clients needs may mean this goes by the way.
Not so Simon Myerson QC who has adopted the brave (foolish?) policy of abandoning his laptop and mobile in favour of paying attention to his family. No Internet posts commentary or emails. Adorably sweet & Geeklawyer approves utterly.
No word on whether MysteryQC will also refrain from blogging over the summer hols. Perhaps not all QCs are slackers.
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