Oh how we laughed at the stories of America’s TSA: the retards responsible for stealing passengers luggage all the while saving the world from arabic t-shirts. This sort of brainless bureaucracy seems to be a specialty of the American civil service.
Regrettably like many things American it seems to be making its way over here: it seems wearing a t-shirt with a cartoon gun is enough to get one kicked off a flight. This kind of hysterical brain dead twaddle is just depressing the living fuck out of Geeklawyer. It’s the inevitable consequence of jobsworthism: hiring cretinous people with a humourectomy inculcated in an atmosphere of panic over the “War on Terror”.
A&E doctor runs out of patients and decides to create his own with his 5 digits.
Terminal 5 travellers run out of patience: refuse to provide their digits.
Local Government Minister caps police budget. ‘Lucky’ police stop & search discovers 1 kilo of crack in his car. Minister admitted to hospital after ‘slipping’ in police cell. Bored A&E doctor Nick Mann now less bored; stops hitting people.
Judges are under attack from Jack Straw, Justice Secretary, for sentences that are too hard — wait, what? Geeklawyer is fucking confused — weren’t they supposed to be too soft?
Cock in premature discharge hilarity: most UK lawyers, e.g. VM, have been wetting their pants at Alan ‘Essex cock’ Sugar’s sacking of the implausible buffoon pupil barrister Nicholas de Lacy-Brown. Frankly, Geeklawyer has no idea how bad it was since he never watches the Apprentice. However having read Nick de Lack-Brain’s bizarre biography he is prepared to assume they are right. Nick old chum, barristers are supposed to be egotistical pompous and snobbish but you’ve overdone it by a margin so wide that Geeklawyer could fit his ego in it.
US law blog Abovethelaw have spotted an Allen & Ovaries rate sheet. If this is true it is pretty fucking astonishing. £295/hr for a junior associate? You mean that 25 year old girl who finished her training contract 3 weeks ago?! If it is true then Geeklawyer is undercharging chronically.
Following the complaints of passengers, two men were removed from a Monarch airlines flight from Malaga to Manchester on the grounds they were “acting suspiciously.”
To avoid any confusion in the future guidance has been developed to help passengers on public transport spot terrorists.
How to identify a potential terrorist:
1. Brown skin
2. Beard
3. Strange clothing
4. Speaks foreign language
5. Looks agitated
Having identified your terrorist it is crucially important to shout “Stop! Terrorist!” In order to send your fellow passengers into a state of hysterical paranoia. This is particularly helpful in a confined environment such as a tube train or aircraft.
Extremist Islamist groups have welcomed the definition. “We like to give the security services a sporting chance at catching our boys therefore we have told all our members to abide by the new definition.” said a spokesman. “Henceforth all our members will look conspicuous and act funny. And we would not, of course, be tempted to take advantage of the distraction caused by two obvious “terrorists” whilst the actual bomb carriers are three rows back wearing Nike trainers and baseball caps.
So remember: be vigilant. And should you spot a terrorist it is important not to allow them to be subject to a further search, but to evict them from the vehicle immediately, by mob rule if necessary, even if you are travelling at 25,000 feet.
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