Category Archives: waaaaay off-topic

Madeleine McCann: enough already

Geeklawyer knows he’ll get flamed for this but it has to be said: enough, please please please. “Our Maddy” stories have reached the point of terminal boredom.
Yes she is incredibly pretty and very sweet. And Geeklawyer concedes that having her on the front page of every newspaper in the Universe, every website everywhere and occupying […]

Whooo!! Xmas & Birthday toys!

Princess Ruthie deigned to come to see Geeklawyer yesterday - an all too rare honour bestowed on the humble serfs comprising her harem. In between rampant activities too vile and sordid to soil even the pages of this blog - the Daily Star of the legal blogging world - Ruthie was spoilt by Geeklawyer with […]

“Thought for the day”: forget not the true significance of Easter: Jesus

David ‘Evil Dave’ Cantrell gets to the point: he (Jesus, Jenny Jesus) died so we could have a long weekend. David, yet again, surpasses even Geeklawyer’s power of offence giving.
Geeklawyer had been intending merely to make the milder observation that Jesus was a fictitious Jewish terrorist with a mental disorder that led him to think […]

The Queen - Gawd luv ‘er

Dame Helen gushed effusively:

… But Dame Helen said she did not expect a congratulatory telephone call.
“I’m not expecting a call from Her Majesty, not ever,” she said. “I think it’s wonderful that I live in a country that allows us to make a film like this.”

Jade Goody - not really a cunt …

Jade Goody doesn’t really attempt to salvage her £1 Million/year career …
Jade Goody, tearful, stained heroine stood at the gates of the Taj Mahal in a visit to India entirely unconnected with her recent catastrophic vicious diatribe against the heroic selfless victim Shilpa ‘I can walk on Water, me’ Shetty. Jade denied entirely calling […]

Blogging from Bulgaria

Pah, Geeklawyer thought Ruthie was out of his hair for a week as she is currently soaking up the sun in the mountains on her snowboard. Ruthie thought she would try Bulgaria this year; a member of the EU since 1st January. So far she is impressed. Whilst her hotel looks like somewhere the Soviet […]

Is your banana active or inactive?

No, not Ruthie’s latest fetish, but a question put to office workers as part of a national 7 Million pound “Lean” project to encourage government office workers to keep their desks tidy. Office workers were given tape to mark out on their desks where they should keep their pens, computer keyboards and phones.
Ruthie wonders about […]

Sealand up for sale.

Ruthie’s obsession with Sealand is a matter of record. Several in fact.
Quite why is unclear: is it merely the eccentricity of the place? or does she have unknown aspirations? A place to keep gaudy pink leathers, or perhaps as a confidential rendezvous for those secret lovers who must remain unknown to each other?
Whichever; she had […]

Ruthiegate

The truth can finally be told: Ruthie is a man. Some have suspected that she is Geeklawyer’s feminine side coming out to play. Some who have ‘met’ her have not realised that they actually met a well trained highly paid but not yet well known actress, Roberta Trubshaw, who assumed the role in between playing […]

Things you don’t want to hear a hospital doctor say …

Geeklawyer fell over in a friends kitchen, banged his pinky & had to go to the local accident & emergency dept:
Doctor1: “ooh, that’s an impressive fracture. I’ll need to get a consultant to look at this.”
Consultant: “My, that is indeed an impressive fracture”
Geeklawyer was very distressed: but only because there was no-one he could sue […]