Category Archives: humour

Me? Binge drinker? WTF?!

October 2, 2007 – 3:47 pm

Apparently Geeklawyer’s fondness for a drop of mead is not going unobserved. One of CharonQC’s visitors reached his site by Googling on the phrase “Geeklawyer binge-drinking” - one can understand why but frankly this is not normally helpful.
Or at least at any other time it would not have been. Mercifully, Ruthie is busily engaged in […]

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Bad taste Pavarotti jokes

September 12, 2007 – 7:17 pm

Pavarotti’s death was terrible: a great singer lost to his art. But nonetheless a punter of Geeklawyer’s sent him some dreadfully distasteful humour that caused much offence. He repeats it here solely so that you are forewarned and not as shocked and offended as Geeklawyer was.

Elton John is taking over from Pavarotti in […]

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Doh - a deer - a dopey deer

July 2, 2007 – 2:37 pm

As if dope growers didn’t have enough to worry about what with rising suburban property prices. helicopters and thermal imaging cameras - they now have to watch out for the animals.
The Register reports on a deer that stumbled across someone’s guerilla growing operation and began consuming the evidence.
“Ma, get me gun; wezza eatin’ deer tonight”  […]

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Horoscope

July 2, 2007 – 6:14 am

Found on Mashup. Oddly appropriate for me:
Taurus (20 APR-20 MAY)
You’re finally getting everything in your life back on track with such organised and assertive ease, that you’ll reach your goals without even blinking. You smug twat.

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Worst Prime Minister *ever*

June 27, 2007 – 10:18 pm

There are moments of sexual pleasure that arrive unbidden and unexpected. That makes their impact and effect all the more surprising and thrilling. Politics would not normally be a topic causing Geeklawyer to ejaculate instantly spontaneously and without warning or the opportunity for preparation.
Imagine, then, the 2pm client conference in chambers: punter ‘A’ wanders into […]

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Don’t poke Rugby players or 12 year old girls.

June 5, 2007 – 11:11 am

In Australia a couple of chavs poked fun at an ex-St George rugby club player calling him a poof and fag because he was wearing a purple cashmere jumper. He punched one of them on the nose and was bound over to keep the peace for two years. He said it was a present […]

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Court pleasures two footballers with a vibrator

May 15, 2007 – 5:03 pm

IPKat reveals via the BBC that a Hamburg court has awarded £34k, about a months wages apiece, to two footballers who’s names were used in vain to promote a World Cup vibrator. Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn apparently. Never heard of them, but then football is for chavs, unlike the manly gentleman’s game […]

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Got £20,000,000 to spare?

May 13, 2007 – 7:49 pm

Geeklawyer was perusing legal businesses for sale yesterday on a website normally offering solicitors practices for £500k a pop or suchlike. Then he stumbled upon an absolute howler:

“Business description

Whistleblowing Agency
Initial caseload derived from United States based Corporate Criminal Payroll Under-reporting
Location: London
Asking price �20M
Current Caseload Value: �2Bn
Asking price includes:
Forecast revenues of circa �24,000M FY 2009
Exclusive case […]

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Geeklawyer will behave now: it’s a promise

April 3, 2007 – 9:01 pm

Deep in the bowels of Chancery Lane, errant and sinful barristers are seen to enter and after days, or for the unfortunate - weeks, of prolonged agonising screams there is silence and they are heard of no more. This is a secret known only to a few within the profession.
Geeklawyer knew. With trepidation he pressed […]

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Nokia N800 - Geeklawyer is fucking pissed off

March 30, 2007 – 10:33 pm

Yes, Geeklawyer apologises to those sensitive lawyers not able to bear his brusque and intemperate language. But really, he is utterly utterly upset. He bought the new Nokia N800 Internet tablet because it really did look like the ultimate Geek PDA toy: an absolutely OMFG drop dead gorgeous thing. A PDA sized device with a […]

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