Archive for the 'deranged ranting' Category

Unquenchable fires and Blair

It seems that some things burn eternally and cannot be extinguished by the efforts of mere man: the underground coal fire that rages in Pennsylvania that has burnt for 46 years and is still going strong; or the obsession of Geeklawyer's growing band of female stalkers (and the odd male one we'll gloss over quickly).

All of these pale beside the ambition of the ex-Dear Leader. Having buggered up the country nicely by creating new breeding grounds for hatred of the West, and gifted an entire generation of angry young English Muslim men to radicalism; having launched us into a supporting role in retarded George's democracy tour of the Middle East - critically panned by Rolling Stone magazine; having eradicated at a stroke vast swathes of the civil liberties he said were the reason we were a great liberal democracy superior to the terrorist values; having trashed the Health service into a semi-privatised profit centre for health companies and which employs reams of highly paid middle-managers whose function is to churn out empty statistics about the great improvements and, well, you get the point. Blair is a oily sleazy little runt; a failed barrister with a chip on his shoulder that would save the Amazon.

But of course all that was supposed to be over with his exit from power. Oh blessed day when the clouds parted and the rain retreated to be replaced by the mild drizzle of the chubby, absolutely heterosexual, thingy ... Gordon Brown, Google informs Geeklawyer.

We have been conned. Bliar has not had enough. With his obscenely lucrative rewards for doing a bad job, you'd think he'd be happy rolling around on £50 notes on his king sized bed with that fat arsed minger Cherie (embarrassingly, a member of Geeklawyer's Inn). £250,000 a pop US speaking gigs, £1Mil a year for a part time job, £6Mil book deal.

No. Apparently now he wants to bugger up the EU too by becoming PM of the EU. Eeeeek. He's been caught lunching the almost equally repellent French clothes horse PM Nicolas SadDozy at the Paris restaurant Thiou. A word of warning SadDozy: avoid doing deals with Bliar in restaurants. Ask Gordon.

Thiou are famed for an exotic meat and noodle concoction known as 'le tigre qui pleure' (the tiger who cries). In honour of the oily one's visit can Geeklawyer suggest a new dish? "The Voter Who Weeps". Geeklawyer's French is too poor to render that into French - in French he can only say "Get off my ski lift you Nazi-collaborating frog eating Gallic tampon or Geeklawyer will have coprophilic sex with your disgusting wife after he's bathed her and made her shave her armpits".

Why oh why oh why oh why can't the useless rag-head pillocks in Al Queda assassinate him? It would be great PR for them: many of us would revise our low opinion of them if they could do us this one small service. Their ineptness is proof that the terrorism 'threat' is laughable.

update: Some idiot is trying get Geeklawyer prosecuted. Hilarious! Please read the blog, please, it is absolutely frigging hysterical. I've never seen a political stalker before but I think that that is what this person is. He has no interest in politics and is a right wing loony. From his poor inarticulate writing and weak arguments he is clearly not very bright and is manifestly poorly educated - ideal Neo-Labour fodder. I am assuming, from the tone, that the interest in Tony Bliar is a homosexual one.

Scientology and DDos attacks

Broadly Geeklawyer would say that Denial of Service Attacks were, and should be, criminal offences.

Ah yes, you say, a 'but' is in the air;

There has been a recent sustained attempt to remove this evil quack religion/business/multi-level-marketing-scam from the Internet by online vigilantes who are engaged in DDos attacks.

Fucking good job too. Scientology is the scummy scam product of the fraudster Ron L. Hubbard who confessed to a friend that creating one's own religion was a great way to make a fortune. Geeklawyer would not, of course, encourage assist aid or incite the commission of any offence, except the murder of Tony Blair, but he remains supportive of their objectives. If they wish dogged vicious intractable and determined pro-bono legal aid in the event of their capture then they may have Geeklawyer's services gratis.

On a side note, Tom 'Loony Laugh' Cruise has recently been widely mocked for his embarrassing weird video that he has been trying to remove from the Internet because it demonstrates that not only is he a shit actor (Did you see "War of the Worlds"?) but a loony recruitment whacko for his pet cult. And he is, of course, not even slightly a closet homosexual.

In a cunting bad mood (parental advisory/post not safe for fucking work)

In space no-one can hear you scream.

Neither can they in the fucking blawgosphere. Yes, Geeklawyer is not a happy bunny. What the buggery fucking bollocks do we barristers pay the cunting idiots at the Bar Council for? Why will they not advert effectively on our behalf as we, on the front-line, duck under the hail of poisoned bolts hurled at us with gleeful abandon by our stunted aphoretic enemies.

Our profession is being dismantled slowly by retarded cretins who pass their communal single emaciated brain cell to one another via a slow motion baton relay race. And yet they still best us. These people who were not good enough to get pupillages themselves because they were too crap to get into decent universities or get a decent degree and who all slope of to become solicitor-inadequates.

And then these professional and intellectual third rates, in combination with the failed barristers in the government, conspire to undermine our profession and criminal justice. Why?

Because they want to wear a wig and pretend they are lawyers. We get our centuries old profession ruined; and the poor brain dead chav arseholes at the pointy end of the criminal justice system get jailed because some lightweight from a polytechnic wants to boast to their mates at the local carrot crunching Rotarian branch. And of course the guilty ones get off, presumably waving to innocent ones being ferried off to a lengthy prison sentences in private Group4 security vans.

Of course for those of us at the better-off , non-criminal, end of the Bar the problem is immaterial. But I really really really want to kick some shirt-lifter hard in the mouth.

Excuse me apologists, but the problem with a smaller more focussed Criminal Bar is that it may not see the bigger picture, you fawning cum swallowing cretinous fucking buffoons.

We once had a proud and noble profession with the view that advocacy was a calling exercised in favour of those less able to aid themselves. A sense of natural justice intellectual curiosity philosophical objectivity and human decency led us to our calling.

Everyone else who wanted a platinum Amex became a solicitor. We have slowly allowed ourselves become bastardised & degenerate from our values. The proles have had their small victory and our withering agonised maceration is their victory.

Now, fuck off: I am genuinely a bit upset & I need a beer and a blow-job. Or just a beer at least.

Intelligent Design

It looks like the lobbying of fundamentalist Christian loonies seeking to import whacko US bogus science has hit the reality rails. The government isn't buying this crap and thank God for that. Science teaching is in collapse in the UK and Geeklawyer may well be one of the last generations taught science properly by people who care about it and understand.

The last thing that we needed in this country is for Miss FluffyBunny, the sociology teacher, to have to dilute her already limited time skills and interest into peddling idiotic crap from the US Bible Belt when it could be used to teach real physics.

Not to mention the galling effrontery of having religious propaganda peddled in schools. If there is a place for ID it is in religious education classes and set in a balanced context by relabelling it to its correct name: 'Creationism'.

The French

Dan Hull, on his recent European tour, had some really great sex in Paris.

Continue reading 'The French'

Another reason to hate the Welsh

Geeklawyer has never been entirely sure why the Welsh are. Yes, Snowdonia is just the most gorgeous place, as is Bangor; and Aberystwyth was the scene of several joyous holidays of lost youth. Goodness even the South has its good bits. So Wales is a glorious place with wonderful views ...
Continue reading 'Another reason to hate the Welsh'