Archive for the 'deranged ranting' Category

Unquenchable fires and Blair

It seems that some things burn eter­nally and can­not be extin­guished by the efforts of mere man: the under­ground coal fire that rages in Penn­syl­va­nia that has burnt for 46 years and is still going strong; or the obses­sion of Geeklawyer’s grow­ing band of female stalk­ers (and the odd male one we’ll gloss over quickly).

All of these pale beside the ambi­tion of the ex-Dear Leader. Hav­ing bug­gered up the coun­try nicely by cre­at­ing new breed­ing grounds for hatred of the West, and gifted an entire gen­er­a­tion of angry young Eng­lish Mus­lim men to rad­i­cal­ism; hav­ing launched us into a sup­port­ing role in retarded George’s democ­racy tour of the Mid­dle East — crit­i­cally panned by Rolling Stone mag­a­zine; hav­ing erad­i­cated at a stroke vast swathes of the civil lib­er­ties he said were the rea­son we were a great lib­eral democ­racy supe­rior to the ter­ror­ist val­ues; hav­ing trashed the Health ser­vice into a semi-privatised profit cen­tre for health com­pa­nies and which employs reams of highly paid middle-managers whose func­tion is to churn out empty sta­tis­tics about the great improve­ments and, well, you get the point. Blair is a oily sleazy lit­tle runt; a failed bar­ris­ter with a chip on his shoul­der that would save the Amazon.

But of course all that was sup­posed to be over with his exit from power. Oh blessed day when the clouds parted and the rain retreated to be replaced by the mild driz­zle of the chubby, absolutely het­ero­sex­ual, thingy … Gor­don Brown, Google informs Geeklawyer.

We have been conned. Bliar has not had enough. With his obscenely lucra­tive rewards for doing a bad job, you’d think he’d be happy rolling around on £50 notes on his king sized bed with that fat arsed minger Cherie (embar­rass­ingly, a mem­ber of Geeklawyer’s Inn). £250,000 a pop US speak­ing gigs, £1Mil a year for a part time job, £6Mil book deal.

No. Appar­ently now he wants to bug­ger up the EU too by becom­ing PM of the EU. Eeeeek. He’s been caught lunch­ing the almost equally repel­lent French clothes horse PM Nico­las Sad­Dozy at the Paris restau­rant Thiou. A word of warn­ing Sad­Dozy: avoid doing deals with Bliar in restau­rants. Ask Gor­don.

Thiou are famed for an exotic meat and noo­dle con­coc­tion known as ‘le tigre qui pleure’ (the tiger who cries). In hon­our of the oily one’s visit can Geeklawyer sug­gest a new dish? “The Voter Who Weeps”. Geeklawyer’s French is too poor to ren­der that into French — in French he can only say “Get off my ski lift you Nazi-collaborating frog eat­ing Gal­lic tam­pon or Geeklawyer will have coprophilic sex with your dis­gust­ing wife after he’s bathed her and made her shave her armpits”.

Why oh why oh why oh why can’t the use­less rag-head pil­locks in Al Queda assas­si­nate him? It would be great PR for them: many of us would revise our low opin­ion of them if they could do us this one small ser­vice. Their inept­ness is proof that the ter­ror­ism ‘threat’ is laughable.

update: Some idiot is try­ing get Geeklawyer pros­e­cuted. Hilar­i­ous! Please read the blog, please, it is absolutely frig­ging hys­ter­i­cal. I’ve never seen a polit­i­cal stalker before but I think that that is what this per­son is. He has no inter­est in pol­i­tics and is a right wing loony. From his poor inar­tic­u­late writ­ing and weak argu­ments he is clearly not very bright and is man­i­festly poorly edu­cated — ideal Neo-Labour fod­der. I am assum­ing, from the tone, that the inter­est in Tony Bliar is a homo­sex­ual one.

Scientology and DDos attacks

Broadly Geeklawyer would say that Denial of Ser­vice Attacks were, and should be, crim­i­nal offences.

Ah yes, you say, a ‘but’ is in the air;

There has been a recent sus­tained attempt to remove this evil quack religion/business/multi-level-marketing-scam from the Inter­net by online vig­i­lantes who are engaged in DDos attacks.

Fuck­ing good job too. Sci­en­tol­ogy is the scummy scam prod­uct of the fraud­ster Ron L. Hub­bard who con­fessed to a friend that cre­at­ing one’s own reli­gion was a great way to make a for­tune. Geeklawyer would not, of course, encour­age assist aid or incite the com­mis­sion of any offence, except the mur­der of Tony Blair, but he remains sup­port­ive of their objec­tives. If they wish dogged vicious intractable and deter­mined pro-bono legal aid in the event of their cap­ture then they may have Geeklawyer’s ser­vices gratis.

On a side note, Tom ‘Loony Laugh’ Cruise has recently been widely mocked for his embar­rass­ing weird video that he has been try­ing to remove from the Inter­net because it demon­strates that not only is he a shit actor (Did you see “War of the Worlds”?) but a loony recruit­ment whacko for his pet cult. And he is, of course, not even slightly a closet homosexual.

In a cunting bad mood (parental advisory/post not safe for fucking work)

In space no-one can hear you scream.

Nei­ther can they in the fuck­ing blaw­gos­phere. Yes, Geeklawyer is not a happy bunny. What the bug­gery fuck­ing bol­locks do we bar­ris­ters pay the cunt­ing idiots at the Bar Coun­cil for? Why will they not advert effec­tively on our behalf as we, on the front-line, duck under the hail of poi­soned bolts hurled at us with glee­ful aban­don by our stunted aphoretic enemies.

Our pro­fes­sion is being dis­man­tled slowly by retarded cretins who pass their com­mu­nal sin­gle ema­ci­ated brain cell to one another via a slow motion baton relay race. And yet they still best us. These peo­ple who were not good enough to get pupil­lages them­selves because they were too crap to get into decent uni­ver­si­ties or get a decent degree and who all slope of to become solicitor-inadequates.

And then these pro­fes­sional and intel­lec­tual third rates, in com­bi­na­tion with the failed bar­ris­ters in the gov­ern­ment, con­spire to under­mine our pro­fes­sion and crim­i­nal jus­tice. Why?

Because they want to wear a wig and pre­tend they are lawyers. We get our cen­turies old pro­fes­sion ruined; and the poor brain dead chav arse­holes at the pointy end of the crim­i­nal jus­tice sys­tem get jailed because some light­weight from a poly­tech­nic wants to boast to their mates at the local car­rot crunch­ing Rotar­ian branch. And of course the guilty ones get off, pre­sum­ably wav­ing to inno­cent ones being fer­ried off to a lengthy prison sen­tences in pri­vate Group4 secu­rity vans.

Of course for those of us at the better-off , non-criminal, end of the Bar the prob­lem is imma­te­r­ial. But I really really really want to kick some shirt-lifter hard in the mouth.

Excuse me apol­o­gists, but the prob­lem with a smaller more focussed Crim­i­nal Bar is that it may not see the big­ger pic­ture, you fawn­ing cum swal­low­ing cretinous fuck­ing buffoons.

We once had a proud and noble pro­fes­sion with the view that advo­cacy was a call­ing exer­cised in favour of those less able to aid them­selves. A sense of nat­ural jus­tice intel­lec­tual curios­ity philo­soph­i­cal objec­tiv­ity and human decency led us to our calling.

Every­one else who wanted a plat­inum Amex became a solic­i­tor. We have slowly allowed our­selves become bas­tardised & degen­er­ate from our val­ues. The pro­les have had their small vic­tory and our with­er­ing ago­nised mac­er­a­tion is their victory.

Now, fuck off: I am gen­uinely a bit upset & I need a beer and a blow-job. Or just a beer at least.

Intelligent Design

It looks like the lob­by­ing of fun­da­men­tal­ist Chris­t­ian loonies seek­ing to import whacko US bogus sci­ence has hit the real­ity rails. The gov­ern­ment isn’t buy­ing this crap and thank God for that. Sci­ence teach­ing is in col­lapse in the UK and Geeklawyer may well be one of the last gen­er­a­tions taught sci­ence prop­erly by peo­ple who care about it and understand.

The last thing that we needed in this coun­try is for Miss Fluffy­Bunny, the soci­ol­ogy teacher, to have to dilute her already lim­ited time skills and inter­est into ped­dling idi­otic crap from the US Bible Belt when it could be used to teach real physics.

Not to men­tion the galling effron­tery of hav­ing reli­gious pro­pa­ganda ped­dled in schools. If there is a place for ID it is in reli­gious edu­ca­tion classes and set in a bal­anced con­text by rela­belling it to its cor­rect name: ‘Creationism’.

The French

Dan Hull, on his recent Euro­pean tour, had some really great sex in Paris.

Con­tinue read­ing ‘The French’

Another reason to hate the Welsh

Geeklawyer has never been entirely sure why the Welsh are. Yes, Snow­do­nia is just the most gor­geous place, as is Ban­gor; and Aberys­t­wyth was the scene of sev­eral joy­ous hol­i­days of lost youth. Good­ness even the South has its good bits. So Wales is a glo­ri­ous place with won­der­ful views …
Con­tinue read­ing ‘Another rea­son to hate the Welsh’



 

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