Glad to have got here at all. Flew Alitalia. Plane’s brakes broke down as we were taxiing for takeoff; a 6.50 am take-off turned into a 10.15 take off. The previous night Geeklawyer slept at terminal 2 Heathrow which was very noisy and so Geeklawyer got about 1 hours sleep.
During the interchange Geeklawyer sat in a Rome departure lounge with loads of LOUD Italian-American stereotypes, who looked like the cast of Goodfellas on a shooting break — though oddly one of the women was decidedly fit and well under 200lbs; odd for an American chick. Geeklawyer managed to avoid making any jokes along the lines of “Who’s stirring the sauce back in New Joisey?” on account of the worry that starting a punch up in an airport would only delay him joining the flight to Tokyo — by about 5 years.
Then, transferred to an Alitalia Boing 777 at Rome which looked as though it had been been built by Fiat 10 years ago: all the bits inside the cabin were broken or falling off and the engine sounded like the big end had gone.
Finally Geeklawyer arrived at Tokyo to discover that his weak Japanese was not merely weak it was positively effeminate. Like commenter Alasdair he resorted to pointing at things and looking pathetically in need of help. Very convincingly.
And oh my God, the fucking heat. From a cold rainy UK to what appears to be the surface of Venus.
Fucked on account of no sleep, fucked on account of the heat. Fucked & disappointed by his lack of facility with the language.
Only good point so far is that the hotel is both very good and very cheap. It has sweet sweet fast broadband. It also has an air conditioner powered by a used Starship engine & Geeklawyer has it wound up full. It also has one of those oddly complex toilets. He don’t know that he dare use it in case it tells him he has a rare disease that is has detected from analysing his urine. Hee may piss in a bottle and throw it from the window. Talking of which he drank a bottle of the infamous ‘Pocari Sweat’ which was oddly tasty.
Going to bed now. Intend to abuse Akihabara district and hunt Hello Kitty porn for the Harem.
Hope to feel better on the morrow.
the complex toilets are actually very easy to use, the secret is that all the buttons are evil, and the normal flush is a handle hidden on the other side, or around the back or occasionally a magic wall sensor.
I found out what the ‘Bum’ button was for
Is it wrong to say I enjoyed it?
as you are a mad hedonist, enjoy your brisk water adventures with the toilet
Geek,
I wonder whether you have seen this.
http://www.medialens.org/alerts/index.php
Is the picture the result of the sudden surprise delivered to the Geek Derriere following the depression of the Bum Button?!
Hello Kitty is not in the slightest pornographic. Its just, well, HORIBLY Cute, Fluffy and Rather Charming.……
(Note the open ended comment)
I demand Hello Kitty porn!
You can demand Hello Kitty porn all you like, but I’ll kick you in the nuts.
I spent all afternoon wandering around Akihabara looking for specific (& fucking weird) Manga porn for a Harem member (no, I won’t say who) and “Hello Kitty” crap (‘Kitty Litter’ if you will) for Lawminx, lo-fi Mary & others, to no avail. Unless I am mistaken Akihabara’s reputation as Geek Toy Central is ill deserved; I am not happy about this, in a big way I am not happy about this.
I will concede, through gritted teeth, that Hello Kitty is a bit cute. But I’d still like boiled Hello Kitty.
Boiled Kitty? I’m sure I have some Asia Extreme that can satisfy such tastes. Who’d have thought that there’d be no Kitty in Japan? It’s probably all been exported. How about sailor outfits?
Don’t worry Minxie, I can get you Hello Kitty Porn.
Perhaps it is another ‘Mr’ Kitty I am thinking about
or perhaps the thought of something wholesome or sweet repels me.
Ms R believes there are love hotels that have Hello Kitty S&M rooms. She is disturbed by this idea; deeply, deeply disturbed.
If all the Hello Kitty in Japan is exported why is it that I cant find any over here, particularly with respect to Nurse Kitty?! Waaaaaah!!!
Lawminx, dear. Your email address bounces as ‘invalid’. I emailed the remainder of my Harem Biatches for their home addresses so that I can send them cheap-ass gifts. Your email bounced: let me know your home address if you want a gift from Japan that I bought specifically with you in mind: Geeklawyer [at} gmail.com
Having wandered around Akihabara I can assure you I could not find either Nurse Kitty or Kitty Porn. Both disappointing. Still, at some point soon a gift will wing it’s way to you from Nihon.
My Dear Geek,
My email is invalid because my blog has been hijacked by a number of insidious individuals all claiming to be me
Should you wish at any time to gad about the threads of what is left of the original, I may now be found at minx610.blogspot.com
I shall email you forthwith; why am I worried that the word SPECIFICALLY is set out in italics? Should I in any way be concerned/worried/preparing myself for a visit from the local constabulary in relation to an undisclosed quantity of Whacky Backie now winging its way toward me from the land of the rising sun?!?
You need, merely, to worry about Kitty porn.
Okay… wtf is Kitty Porn???
Having read this, giggled when you mentioned not being able to talk much… seems the Top Gear boys had the same problems when they were there… it’s all very well having gadgetry to ask the questions, but it doesn’t make understanding the answers any easier!!
Let your mind wander Ms Helga and it will come to you. Think of Hello Kitty in a traditional Japanese Manga and then you will have the most horrific image in your head.… of Hello Kitty “going down” on some fellow.
In the case of the Hareem, we’re getting Hello Kitty trinkets.
I think Cantrell and Charon should get tokens of affection of Geeklawyer, but that’s just my humble opinion.
Hhhmmm… Charon and Hello Kitty in the same sentence… can’t quite see it! Even the Manga version!