Many people wonder how it is that a first class cunt like Geeklawyer has a harem of hot totty and a bunch of lady stalkers (some of whom are gracious enough to send him their soiled underwear in the post - sweet).
Geeklawyer is not one for deep thinking on anything much except how to milk his punters for more money but even he has wondered why it was that hot classy totty like Lawminx, Ruthie, Opinionated Bean, Mrs Robinson, Juxtajazz, and any one of dozens of other totty GL can’t even faintly remember, worshipped the very ground he walked on.
The answer is now revealed by researchers: narcissism, psycopathic behaviour and Machiavellianism. That triad of bad behaviour all leads to red hot sex. Being slightly evil provides an evolutionary benefit.
James Bond epitomises this set of traits, Jonason says. “He’s clearly disagreeable, very extroverted and likes trying new things - killing people, new women.”
Geeklawyer’s nickname at law school was, seriously, James Bond. Unlike the above quote however he never killed any women. At least, none that didn’t deserve it.
“There must be some cost of the traits.” One possibility, both Keller and Jonason suggest, is that the strategy is most successful when dark triad personalities are rare. Otherwise, others would become more wary and guarded.”
Waaaayyyyy too late sucker …
Well, duh! This is why nice guys always finish last. An injustice.
Alternative hypothesis - it is a chick version of car-crash tv?
Ann you outed us, GL’s harem consists of women getting immense pleasure watching him bounce about like a pinball.
Pfff. Deny your adoration. I know the truth.
I had always thought the Bravado was an underlying trait of insecurity.
Ah you have me. That degree in media studies is coming in handy again…
Hey if I had a choice between a degree that would earn me a shit loads of cash and one that honed my ability for one line put downs then I know what i’d choose.
and it would seem that an active fantasy life and lack of grasp on reality must by definition boost the chances with the laydeez.
and I am left out AGAIN. right. well. I know where to take my blog ‘custom’…
You are beloved above all - I wouldn’t and didn’t sully your name by attaching it to my reserve harem
thank you. I shall keep my thigh high leather boots to hand in that case.
however I fear that by assauging my ego you have offended my sisters-in-law and so you are going to have to stroke all our egos….!
ah what it is to be velvety-voiced and popular
I knew there was a reason for my total and absolute adoration. Thanks for being such an absolute bastard, and so consistently. I appreciate it.
Busy now, stalk later.
xx
ps You’re beautiful.
(sputtering) beautiful? I now have an image of GL singing “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt, with the same falsetto.
GL: I notice that Tempranillo didn’t make the list either.
Tempranillo is a dude, Charon.
That he’s a gorilla is merely a secondary objection.
GL… while I take, and accept fully the points you have made, having perused the file of comments above and below (or infra / supra as we used to say before Woolf fucked up the old latin ruse and requird lawyers to write and speak in plain english) I still feel that you may be better of carousing in lapdancing clubs with my colleague, tempranillo.
Tempranillo completed a GDL and an LPC at a well known institution in record time and they threw in an LLB degree as well. He will be able to discuss law with you - and, you never know, you may find his understanding of the laws of Ingerland most useful when you hit a really busy patch - and he takes CASH…. so no-one will ever know he assisted you.
Just a thought….
He will attend upon you with a spade - a useful tool for digging oneself out of holes!
Excuse me?!?! I am only part of your RESERVE Hareem?!?! Heavens to Murgatroyd, one can only IMAGINE what one would have to do to reach the giddy heights of the Hareem Proper - in fact, it doesn’t even bear consideration, given that you would have not the slightest hesitation in forcing me to marry a Mysoginistic Photocopier for the duration of any period of time spent with you which might loosely be described as ‘pupillage’!
Having revealed such GLARING insecurity, however,I struggle mightly with my sentiments and am forced , ultimately to reaffirm the sentiment so profoundly and elegantly expressed by Juxta:
We, the GRH ( Geek Reserve Hareem) adore you for bieng the Utter Bastard that you are.
Pure and Simple.
But even the reserves are exalted above all other women: Heavens, look at the company Ruthie and MissRobinson for feck sake
Whilst I am indeed in TREMENDOUS company with respect to Ruthie, Miss R, Juxta and OB, it still begs the question - if such sterling examples of all that is feminine ( and therefore pretty seriously bloody lovely) in the ether merely consitute your RESERVE Hareem, what on earth have we all to do to be considered for the Hareem Proper?
(On second thought, dont answer that, its probably something outrageous/kinky/outrageously kinky………)
hmm fish for him? do all those manly tasks that he is incapable of performing?
I personally like the fact that I am in the Reserve Hareem - with such esteemed company as Ruthie, MsR, Minxy, and Juxta. I don’t even want to contemplate what GL thinks is a appropriate to move into the Hareem Proper.
Maybe dance of the seven veils? We can have Ruthie do that.
GL: I’ve just had an email from Tempranillo. He has been reading about Shami Chakrabarti’s difficulty with a Labour Cabinet Minister’s comments.
This is what he said… ” For the Attention of Geeklawyer, blogger, address unknown:
I look forward to your written apology as I’m sure does Mrs Tempranillo. If on the other hand you choose to continue down the path of innuendo and attempted character assassination by referring to me as a ‘dude’ and excluding me from opportunity on grounds that I am a gorilla, you will find that the privileged legal protection of the blogosphere does not extend to slurs made in the wider public domain…. for example, bars, pubs and other such places of pleasure and delight - like that lapdancing club we met in last Friday afternoon.
You will notice, I am sure, that I have modelled my claim on the words used by Ms Chakrabarti, but why pay a lawyer to use exactly the same precedent and charge through the nose for it - and she seems to know what she is doing.
I have, however, been talking to a friend in Monaco who has indicated that damages are tax free - so if you fancy perpertrating a personal injury or some other tort of your chooosing (perhaps Rylands v Fletcher?) on me I will sue you for the tort, you deduct the damages as a normal business expense - expense wholly and necessarily incurred in the business of whatever it is you do - and I’ll pay 50 per cent of the money back to you - a win win.”
If you would like to send all your personal data to my colleague at The Bank of Nigeria - Chief cashier, who is resident for the time being in Scunthorpe, using a PO Box number and communicating, for reasons of discretion, by using a hotmail address - all will be well.”
Used twenties in a brown envelope are also acceptable….
RESERVE harem!! What the frack, and blow it out your dirty waste hole. I tell you what, Geeky my love, relegate ME to the reserve at your own peril! I’ll have you shackled out the back with all the rest of my boy toys (and not even for use as a Sunday best) before you can say, “spank me again, humiliate me the way that I like it, hog tie me, put hose clamps on my testicles, oh goodness juxta, please.”
Reserve indeed! Well I never, and if I weren’t so indignant I would be spanking you right as this moment.
Good day.
GL: I had no idea that you were interested in Formula 1 motor racing
Ello Spanish wine,
I suspect GL’s interests would shock even you and I, what a dirty sod!
Really? Excellent.
Fucking reserve harem…I give you blow jobs on demand, the full Mosely treatment a la The Night Porter and let you spank me until I feel cheap (well cheaper than usual) and this is how you repay me.
I don’t know about Ruthie for she has received attention but I’m calling a general strike of all Geeklawyerladies.
Girlies, contact me…we will get this man where it hurts.
Ooops, I have upset MsR
I am scared now.
Would obsequious grovelling save me?
I’m sorry MsR, as I enjoy the fact that I am in the Reserve Hareem I don’t really plan on joining in on the castration of one certain Geeklawyer. I’m quite thrilled that he doesn’t consider me primary material. I’m just some short, plump creature from the colonies and I enjoy that position very well.
Though if you want ideas I can share those, but I, unfortunately, cannot take part in the vengence.
…. Hmm. Given Geeks adventures at Glasto in tandem with Ms R’s predilection for the infliction of acute onset suffering, why does the phrase ” ChestNUTS ROASTING on an open FIRE”, spring immediately to mind?!
(perhaps we can all rely on Ruthie in that respect!!)
Minxy, what’s with the chestnut fantasies?
Hiya Mary,
Take the chest part away from the nuts - this might perhaps leave you with some impression of the punishment I personally have in mind for our Beloved Geeks relegation of his entire Hareem to “reserve” - PARTICULARLY now that he is off on a frolick of his own at Glasto, even though he is there with Ruthie…..!
Ruthie and I intend tto have a barbecue but it is she not I who will be supplying the meat …
I just hope they’re planning the wedding and we can all be done with it and settle down to our formal mistress roles. Plus I have several fine robes to choose from. September wedding?
Maybe I can be BestLady
*Sigh* why are barbecues always about MEAT?! This is most definately a man thing!!
Weddings?!! Is the Geekster about to pop the big Q to Ruthie?!?! I’m off ot buy my Hat right this MINUTE!!!!!
Perfect timing, mayhaps. I plan on visiting Ruthie and Mr Ruthie (aka Geekie) in September. Yes, that’s right, I’m leaving the colonies for a week to jaunt about the English countryside.
We could have a reserve hareem meet up…I will bring men
Mary, do you know something the rest of the Hareem doesn’t!??!
I do admit that I tend to IM with dearest Geekie quite often, so I may know something
I like MsR’s suggestion - a meeting of the Hareem.