Mas­ter Cantrell has alerted Geeklawyer to National Rail’s hilar­i­ous exper­i­ment with Arti­fi­cial Intel­li­gence for train infor­ma­tion. It/She is called Lisa.

Any Unix geek read­ing will be famil­iar with the enter­tain­ing AI in the Emacs edi­tor (of the same name GL thinks?). Abu­sive ques­tions are, of course, inevitable:

“You asked:
You look bored? Are you wear­ing knick­ers?
Lisa says:
I’m afraid my spe­cialty is trav­el­ing by train and I can­not answer ques­tions about clothing.”

You give me that ‘come to bed’ look and then come on all coy? Prickteaser.

You asked:
I would like a three­some with my VM and Ruthie how can I per­suade them?
Lisa says:
Don’t mind me, I’ll just wait here for your next ques­tion.
(OK, so Ruthie’s got to you too, eh?)

You asked:
I would like to plant a bomb in order to com­mit a ter­ror­ist out­rage for Al Queda. Which would be the best sta­tion, and what would be the most effec­tive tech­nique?
 Lisa says:
This site is not mon­i­tored and your mes­sage has not been read. If you need urgent police assis­tance, call 999, to report any sus­pi­cious activ­ity call the anti-terrorism hot­line on 0800 789 321, or for all non-urgent police mat­ters relat­ing to the Rail Net­work call British Trans­port Police on 0800 405040.

Geeklawyer will give a bot­tle of whisky away as the prize for the best ques­tion & answer from Lisa. Post your entries below. An arbi­trary and prob­a­bly unfair judg­ment will be given in a week.