GeekLawyer’s Blog

Ruthie was, as many were aware, recently pretending to be junior counsel in a multi-million pound criminal trial that Geeklawyer visited as it was drawing to its inevitable conclusion. In fact it nearly drew to a conclusion more rapidly as a result of Geeklawyer’s friendly visit.

Geeklawyer had merely intended to show up, provide Ruthie with moral support, dinner and some post-prandial ‘entertainment’ for a couple of hours while her Leader’s attention was off in another part of the country.

Disappointingly Geeklawyer did not get to hear the sluttily voiced Ruthie provide each and every member of the jury with remote oral sex from across the courtroom. Her leader was at fault: a thoroughly charming old school barrister, he insisted on using her for the jobs for which junior female counsel are conditioned by nature; fetching coffee cooking and ironing shirts. That is to say, a wife: but one to whom one need not give over 50% of one’s assets at the end of the trial/marriage.

It transpired however that the graceful and supple Geeklawyer’s dark presence caused pandemonium to Ruthie’s client. Not pandemonium of the usual heart, pitter patter, variety. No. Apparently Geeklawyer bore an uncanny resemblance to one of the defendants. When Geeklawyer turned up at court and sat at the back of the public area he was unaware of the turbulence he caused.

Why, said “impressive client“, is junior counsel ‘canoodling’ with a defendant. Problematic? Err yea, just a bit. impressive client took a bit of convincing that nothing untoward was occurring.

Regrettably there was worse. Much much worse.

One of the key defendants in the trial was an alarming looking gentleman with a nervous tick and a reputation for, unproven, extreme violence due to a well known untreatable psychiatric disorder. He spent much of the day, according to watchful observers, pacing up and down eying Geeklawyer, when they were both in the court corridors, or glaring at him as he sat in the public area of the trial room. This was all misinterpreted by your author.

The assumption was that Mr Loonytoons believed that Geeklawyer was not a respectable, indeed glamorous compared to his criminal colleagues, barrister but a defendant engaged in surveillance to unknown and (for Mr Psycho) detrimental ends.

Geeklawyer is, of course, well known for being brighter than the entire population of the planet Mensa put together. Readers might thus ask “OK, why did you not spot all of this?“. The problem is that Geeklawyer’s ego is not that small. He had spotted the observation but the truth is that, while straight, he knows how very hot he is to gay guys as well as the ladies; and, well, you know, he just assumed that gay lust rather than a psychotic killing instinct was the basis for the attention ….

Fortunately for the psycho hardman he wasn’t brave or stupid enough to try it on with Geeklawyer. Geeklawyer is known not just for his charm and wit but also his steel hard edge: he’d would have hated to have to deprive the court of its opportunity to mete out justice.