Twatty government minister are prone to saying that we are facing new types of [something dangerous/annoying] in society that needs legislating against to protect the public, or actually to appease Daily Mail readers. Hoodies are a classic example but Professor Robert Bartlett has done research and found that gangs of lawless binge drinking hooded yoofs were widely perceived as a problem
Yes the famous criminal hooded gand led by robin hood is another example. Friar tuck was not only obese but a hideous binge drinker.
The Buckfast monks are another example, you can in Glasglow often see where they have been by discarded bottles of buckfast tonic wine.
On the other hand monks make Moniak mead so it’s not clear they are an issue.
We can all agree Robin Hoody would have been ASBO’d before he had pulled his tights on in the morning.
ahhh research!!! well that proves it.
whatever it was.
The prime function of research these days is to genereate interesting blog posts and metro articules for communters.
it has a value in industry.
you make a mistake so blindingly obvious that a four-year old could have told you it will all go wrong and cost you millions.
it goes wrong.
it costs you millions.
people shout at you.
you wave the ‘research’ results that you carefully undertook pre-cockup saying that the ‘fishcycle’ was innovative, practical and sure to find a market.
people fume and go away.
a bit like seeking counsel’s opinion: you know it’s shite, they know it’s shite but you hope it may stop you getting shouted at when your stupidity is confirmed.
similarly, metro exists to stop you thinking while imprisoned with a bunch of smelly people with whom you share nothing but despair and mutual hate. a bit like seeking counsel’s opinion…
And best of all: counsel gets beer money
Ipod’s exist to stop you thinking, transcendental meditation is what people did before Apple.
The metro provides informative cutting edge journalism for the discerning modern METRROsexual career commuter.
PS I love my fellow commuter, and rather than hate them I spend my time fantasing about them. Even when it’s rainy and we all smell like a teenage boy bedroom.. mmmm… damp bus or train people
As someone who spent many years commuting into London, and I ascribe my contempt rancor & hatred for mankind to that experience — and I hold the view that commuting rather than Al Queda inspired the 7/7 bombers: I can say with some confidence no-one did TM on my train unless the commuting mantra involved swearing a lot and gnashing ones teeth.
I’ll hear nothing bad said about the Metro: it wastes so much paper that it is accelerating global warming all by itself, and will result in mankind being wiped out much sooner.
I have a hoodie: Am I dangerous?