Best anti-biotics I have ever had… opened the capsule and sprinkled the contents over a rather good risotto. Practising for my restaurant review career which is looming.

Within minutes, I noticed, several City boys at a table nearby, observing my somewhat unusual behaviour, started sprinkling powder over their pasta as well. I engaged them in conversation - but they were talking far too quickly to make any sense at all…. kept on going on about buying farmland… I told them I didn’t have any money to buy a farm because I took all my savings out Northern rock when the panic started earlier in the year and then left my briefcase full of fivers, along with a very expensive violin, on the train.

You beat me to it…. fancy a glass of Rioja… or schnapppppps. Could never spell schnappps…

Do you find, GL, that people come up to you on the tube, when you are having a quiet coffee at a cafe, or even while you are robing up in the robing room at The Old Bailey and start singing ‘Danny Boy’…. in a way that even Ant & Dec wouldn’t find funny?

While I am always happy to turn up at people’s dinner parties / weddings, christenings… or even funerals and say exactly what i say on your blog on the occasions I visit - I would never dream of being rude…. or calling anyone a bald cunt.

I have no idea if you wear brut…. I can’t imagine that particular male parfum is stil available - and if it is, I suspect, given sell by dates, it would be better used for lighting barbecues when the summer finally comes.

I don’t waer bow ties myself - largely because I am not an presenter of day-time television auction programmesand, as you may imagine, I don’t, these days, feel the need to go to ‘black tie’ events….

I do, however, enoy completely random quantum physics inspired events when people descend on your blog after a few and write complete nonsense.

a piu tarde.

Heavens, I was hoping we could keep the truth between ourselves; but my perception of it is obviously flawed and I defer to you.

I am consoled, however, that you appreciate the suit. I take further consolation from your qualified disappointment at the blog content: at least if one has nothing to say one might at least say it well and a polished turd is better than a loose stool; though while criticising my content is one thing, accusing me of wearing Brut is a caddish low blow.

And it doesn’t matter if you try to dress it up as something else - and God knows, it’s so apparent that’s how desperate you are at times - the end result is still a turd with a bow-tie and a scent of Brut.

The best bits are your legal knowledge. Some left-centre reflections on US IP moves was a good one, I seem to remember.

You can’t help it if you’re a bald cunt with a go-to-hell suit dreaming of something better.

I have tired of writing about the great political events in our country this night. I have stopped worrying about why Gordon Brown’s approval rating has fallen, why Cleggover only managed to shag 30 women, why a 15 year old boy should want to wipe snot on David Cameron’s suited back.

I have even tired of worrying about why old people want to to spend their time as peers, sitting in a tastelessly furnished building in , they could be enjoying the ‘autumn of their lives’ running through the streets of Prague, Vilnius, Sarajevo, Warsaw, representing our country properly by binge drinking….and singing “We are the Champions”.

So… I thought I would pop in for a drink here and see what was happening. You have been very busy. This is good. Delighted to hear of Mrs R’s success…. I still think, if you are quick off the mark, you may well be able to get onto a BBC makeover prog blog somewhere….

I trust you are well. How are the plans for the 2nd International UK Law Blogger’s Conference going? I got mildly over refreshed the other evening with Head of Legal. we talked about last year’s conference. We talked about the possibility that there may a 2nd Annual Conference. I told him that you had assured me that is was all in hand…. and that you were just waiting for The Chinese Secret Police to complete their olympic torch escorting duties so they could be available to protect UK blawgers and ensure our security. He seemed to take this on board. Mind you, we took quite a bit of Rioja on board as well… and some humous, pitta and olives. My doctor told me to have a balanced diet… Rioja and olives…. no problem, he told me when he asked me my views on euthaniasia, and if I thought the US Supreme Court would rule soon on the use of lethal injections.

Perhaps, this year, we could have a more modest event for THE 2ND ANNUAL LAW BLOGGERS CONFERENCE” - cans of lager and hang around on a street corner irritating PCSOs? Perhaps a London pub? Can we ditch the curry this year… We could do our bit for our country by eating something else… ?

I enjoy eating curry - but I do find that Rioja and Chicken Vindaloo are not easy bed fellows - but, I don’t suppose that Nick Clegg will be rushing me or anyone else out of the pub … so I don’t suppose I need to worry about the Vindaloo aspect.

Well… I’ve been here five minutes already… Prince William hasn’t landed in a helicopter…. and Heston Services Blumenthal has not had time to sort out the kitchen at this nightclub of yours…. my life is draining away…. time is limited as one gets older…. especially with my new hobby of drinking a bottle of Rioja and seeing if I can help London Transport by directing traffic at that big roundabout in Hammersmith…. so… must go….

speak anon…

PS… if you really want your own ‘National’ blog spot… I have a mate … who likes a bit of media… you know what I mean? Completely anonymous… no worries, mate!

As I type I’m writing a letter (yes this is truly a feat of my gymnastic prowess, that otherwise would have remained hidden due to my ethical stance not to partake in the Bejing Olympics) to the Eye recommending they take you on as a writer with immediate effect.