[Register] There is an hilarious story of some South London chav scum wanting a taxi to Bristol airport. This shell suited scrubber, presumably 16 and with a baby in tow, rang the directory inquiries operator:
Chav Whore: “I need a Joe Baxi”
Operator: “I can’t find anyone by that name”
Chav Whore: “It ain’t a person, it’s a cab, innit.”
Operator: “connecting you”
[Phone rings….]
Puzzled Saleswoman: [… Long confused discussion …] (internal voice: “What the flying buggery fuck is this cum swallowing whore on about?”)
Chav Whore: “Look love, how hard is it? All I want is your cheapest cab, innit. I need it for 10am. How much is it?”
Puzzled Saleswoman:£180.
Chav Whore: “Cha, right, K, nah probs, sawted. Jar nah wot I mean innit?”
And of course what turned up on her door a day later was a glass fronted “Cab,innit”. Sadly the cabinet had no steering wheel tyres, or driver and it was singularly useless in getting the chav to Bristol airport.
On one view the saleswoman was inept in not understanding what was articulate and comprehensible Sarf Lundun AliG patois: the better view is that chavs should learn not to try to participate in life outside their Peckham council estates.
Geeklawyer would feed chavs feet first into an industrial mincing machine; although both the nicer ones he would feed in head first. Softy that he is. What would the diction God Paul Scofield have made of it?
Why were they going to Bristol? Was it to avoid Smith and Harman?
I’m not sure. Perhaps there was a new Matalan opening?
If she paid a ton-eighty on the plastic, mate, she ain’t no chav, y’know what I’m sayin?
Anyone know if Danny Dyer plans to open a school of elocution for aspiring mockneys?
£180 is only, what, 2 weeks dole money?
Who is Danny Dyer?
You wont thank me but watch this and cringe.
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&ct=res&cd=5&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D3YYNiMdUFGM&ei=8k7_R_abA5CCQKC1zPEI&usg=AFQjCNGQYqU3SzyeGZlvkjQVtOPSdLWiQw&sig2=gk2lC6nzoAoy4M8dLUbFEg
Ah, the guy from Severance (piece of crap film). What an attractive fellow he is.
……Matalans??? Too F**king posh by half, innit?!? We is doing PoundStretchers, innit? They is selling QUALITY Gear, know what I mean? Well ‘ard.
Safe…..!!
I think we are getting confused. There are many different categories of poor folk, not all of them are chavs. Chav is a way of life (White Lightning and unprotected sex), a fashion (sovs and JJB Sports) and a philosophy (I’ll kick his f-ing head in).
Righteous!
Goodness, Ms Robinson thinks she’s on the wrong blog..(goes out the door and prepares to come in again)
She will return when the grammar improves. This is no place for a lady
Wha blow…..! Is u sayin dat chavs is hacktually worf feedin in a minca? Wossa a minca? Int dat a nuvva word 4 faaaaaagggggggggg?
What’s the matter with you geekster? What have those poor chavs done to deserve such geek-like wrath? Were you set upon outside of school or pushed off the bus, tie trapped in the door? Were you taunted by bulldog-like thugs who teased your RP accent and trouser creases? If you annilihate the chavolas then who will take their place? Pity them for their brain-cell deficiency.
Not all of us were blessed with the power of geek…
All together now: “We’re playing for England (In-ger-land)“
I’m a snob LG - I’m not proud of it but it is true.
OK I am proud of it. I’m a liar too.
That’s ok, so am I.