A&E doctor runs out of patients and decides to create his own with his 5 digits.
Terminal 5 travellers run out of patience: refuse to provide their digits.
Local Government Minister caps police budget. ‘Lucky’ police stop & search discovers 1 kilo of crack in his car. Minister admitted to hospital after ‘slipping’ in police cell. Bored A&E doctor Nick Mann now less bored; stops hitting people.
Judges are under attack from Jack Straw, Justice Secretary, for sentences that are too hard — wait, what? Geeklawyer is fucking confused — weren’t they supposed to be too soft?
Cock in premature discharge hilarity: most UK lawyers, e.g. VM, have been wetting their pants at Alan ‘Essex cock’ Sugar’s sacking of the implausible buffoon pupil barrister Nicholas de Lacy-Brown. Frankly, Geeklawyer has no idea how bad it was since he never watches the Apprentice. However having read Nick de Lack-Brain’s bizarre biography he is prepared to assume they are right. Nick old chum, barristers are supposed to be egotistical pompous and snobbish but you’ve overdone it by a margin so wide that Geeklawyer could fit his ego in it.
US law blog Abovethelaw have spotted an Allen & Ovaries rate sheet. If this is true it is pretty fucking astonishing. £295/hr for a junior associate? You mean that 25 year old girl who finished her training contract 3 weeks ago?! If it is true then Geeklawyer is undercharging chronically.
I can’t quite imagine what it must be like to regard yourself as having accomplished so much yet know, deep down, that you’re still a complete wanker. And there’s nothing you can do about.
Although (and I didn’t watch the TV show, I’m too busy downloading and watching The Wire for regular TV) if he can write bollocks about himself and persuade idiots to pay him a fortune for his ‘artworks’ then good luck to him.
Truthfully, I really doubt he has that level of self awareness.
Why, said 25 yr old girl is I! Am I not worth 295 an hour? I think it incredibly rude of Geeky to question the intellectual prowess of the 25 yr old newly qualified A&O associate (or assistant).
You should try and catch the best bits of that episode on BBC iPlayer (can’t believe apple didn’t register the TM for that one). NDLB was so reeeediculous I have renamed him nicholarse de mimsey porpington. Has a much more pompous ring to it, wouldn’t you say?
Re A&O, firstly, I wish. Secondly, from what I hear, tis true. Thirdly, as per one of the comments from the site you linked to, rate card prices do not reflect negotiated prices after the client is billed. But those are definitely the highest I’ve seen in my jaunts around city firms. Better put your prices up.
“This isn’t just any barrister, this is GEEKlawyer…”
Obviously I’d pay 295/hr for your/i> time LG but as a general proposition — wow…
Case for the prosecution
Nicholas de Lacy Brown
1 Made up name.
2 Saville Row suit.
3’Outstanding’ BVC & barrister
4 Concealed first degree
5 Bizarre facial hair.
6 Wearing sunglasses in TV studio
7 Professed dislike of football
8 Total incompetence with fish
9 Can’t add up
10 Ludicrous website
11 Comically gay.
Defending barrister: “Mr Brown. The verdict is in tomorrow. Please bring a toothbrush to court.”
Mind you, disliking football is major mitigation: should be good for a 30% discount I’d say.
No Geek it is not a major mitigation and De Lacy Brown cannot calculate percentages.
Send him to the Coleherne with his pupilmaster.
I must say that I fully adopt the opinions of my learned leader, James C, though I would add that the only reason Nick the Prick has that annoying piece of bumfluff growing under his bottom lip is to prevent his chin, such as it is. from falling off, given that said chin had to be surgically implanted in the absence of a backbone.
Gosh.
Having managed about a paragraph of NdeL-B’s biography, I feel oddly compelled to hope I meet him some day, just so I can use the phrase ‘Sir, You are an Arse’.
Congratulations on completing a whole paragraph!
OMG just read this line
“Having already received much critical acclaim in his home town of Worthing”
Is there no higher accolade for an artist?
Julia noted over at Ruthies Law ( courtesy of The Lawyer) that Nick the Prick has his pupillage at Crown Office Row. Check out her helpfully provided link if you think you can stomach it!
http://www.thelawyer.com/cgi-bin/item.cgi?id=131896&d=415&h=417&f=416
From the interview:
the self-labelled toff is still planning to start his pupillage with Crown Office Chambers in October. ..
Let us hope they are of a similar view.
De Lacy-Brown said his brief stint on The Apprentice has been life-changing but hopes his fame will not last long.
Aspiration is a wonderful thing but it needs to be anchored on something firmer than hot air. I wonder how he will feel when he is 45 and people are still ribbing him about this.
He also insisted that his appearance on the BBC One show has not been detrimental to his career as a lawyer. “Selling fish and confronting Sir Alan in the boardroom have b***** all to do with being a lawyer. People would be ridiculous to compare the two with each other,” claimed De Lacy-Brown.
Then I shall have to be ridiculous and say that practical law is about judgement and understanding one’s client, not just an academic analysis of case law and statute. Many very brilliant academics make crap lawyers for these reasons. I don’t say Nicholas de Arse is a brilliant academic, his results seem adequate, but he does share their failings.
seems rather nice to me
If this is true it is pretty fucking astonishing. £295/hr for a junior associate? You mean that 25 year old girl who finished her training contract 3 weeks ago?! If it is true then Geeklawyer is undercharging chronically.
Unfortunately, we don’t get to keep it — most American law students graduate with $250,000–300,000 in educational debt.
From what I hear, and J.Dan.Hull of WAC? may correct me, the figure is much much lower:I’d heard sums of $100-150k. In any event in the the UK, as the US, law students graduate with a metric-fuckload of debt and need to repay it. As you say, you don’t keep it: you aren’t intended to, the fat cats like Uncle Dan keep it so that they can attempt to seduce my birds.
What, you don’t begrudge your boss a bit of sex, surely?
geek — if you are worried about paying 295 an hour for a 25 year old it seems that in the free market that is britain you can now rent a 14yr old for a mere 60 an hour. even ms robinson must struggle to beat that! and they say society is moving upwards???
(just don’t send her to buy your cheap industrial cider or your hour will be gone)
and what is it with those americans and vast amounts of unsustainable debt? they need to invade somewhere with a bit of oil if you ask me!
Time for some legal outsourcing from India.
i thought albania was the preferred source of crack whores right now. don’t imagine the geek has the energy to be fussy after he has finally persuaded the spotty 16yr old to sell him his diamond white.
I certainly wouldn’t trust a doctor with such dreadful taste both in ties and in the knot used to tie ‘em.
I can’t quite determine the knot: I fear it may be a Winsor and I don’t wish to revisit style catastrophe on my part.
I can’t quite determine the knot: I fear it may be a Windsor and I don’t wish to revisit that style catastrophe on my part.