Geeklawyer is a bit of a slacker it’s true. But he suddenly looked up at the clock to realise it was 2.30am and there he was writing both a skeleton and a snotty note to the judge. Blimey.
In his mitigation he had spent the evening chatting up young totty at the local university. Though he didn’t get laid. Damn. Nor is he going skiing next week. Damn damn.
Ms R did get laid this week. And she is going skiing in two weeks time.
I am going skiing in Austria for 10 days at the end of Feb
See how easy life can be?
My Dear Geek,
Would it not be quicker to walk into a Holborn winebar, slap your wig on the bar and take your pick of the legal groupies?
Why deny them the pleasure of your company?
Because I enjoy being cruel?
Having conjured up visions of Geeklawyer as a witty, clever lothario I am now haunted by visions of an ageing Hugh Grant foppish figure looking vaguely uncomfortable and desperate St. Andrews Uni. Please tell me this is not so.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=486921&in_page_id=1879
I do my best, despite other pressures on my time, the vicissitudes of life, the fact that I am having my eighteenth mid-life crisis, to assist where I can…. and do so now…
I have met GL and I have seen him on webcam for podcasts (The important word in the latter part of my sentence is the construction of the words ‘webcam’ AND ‘podcasts’)… he is not anything like High Grant… in fact… as far as I could see on webcam, when I did my last PODCAST with him… (on webcam) he looked liked a cross between Johnny Depp and Keith Richard…
BUT… he had taken time away from his professional life the night before and this may have accounted for his appearance on WEBCAM. I am sensible. I don’t turn my webcam on on Sunday mornings. It is easy…. I pull the connection out of the back of my computer and put it in the tupperware box given to me by H M The Queen (I keep my Weetabix in it) when I popped in to Windsor Castle the other weekend, unnanounced, for breakfast….. just to be sure.
Of course… what do I know?… but Hugh Grant… he ain’t… mercifully…..
The doctors let me out tonight… just in time for a closing time drink… The wonders of BUPA….
I’ve just filled in a very famous person’s tax return on the H M Revenue & Customes website - after reading that very famous people are allowed to file their tax returns online.
I like to be helpful. I just hope they aren’t too pissed off with the amount of earnings I disclosed on ‘their’ behalf…
To try and make up / calculate their expenditure, allowable expenses / donations to political parties, disbursements, tax rebates, etc etc - to minimise their tax liability, was, sadly, not possible tonight.
I was shocked by the news that VERY famous people cannot file their tax returns online.. because they are so famous they need even more security - ironic… verging on sub-textual ‘post-ironic’.
So… a “minority of people”… very famous people… are not going to have to send their tax returns in by post and not worry about their details being lost or found by beleaguered underpaid Plod scurrying about on rubbish tips all over the country trying to find the “VVVIP Tax returns .html File”.
Are any of you famous enough not to be allowed to file your tax returns online?
I tried to file “Charon QC’s Tax Return online tonight” (As it happens… a nil return because Charon has no income)…
I got a “404 File Not Lost Yet” message when I hit the send button.
There was no section of the online form to disclose the odd glass of Rioja given to “Charon” by people passing by The Bollo and saying… “You are Charon… and I would like to give you a free non taxable gift of a glass of Rioja which I am fairly certain is within my allowable gift allocation for 2007/2008″ . Amazing how many people say that…. astonishing, in fact.
Charon dear fellow - Rioja is a tax write off - I think you need a better accountant.
you can go skiing next week.. doesn’t the UK have one or two mountains?
It has a couple of overgrown hills in Scotland - miserable things virtually useless for skiing. I need the Alps or Canada.
you know who you must talk to
If you mean who I think you mean then the bitch will say “yes”, let me get all excited and then change her mind
Only *I* am allowed to be the cunt in my relationships. I think that’s objectively reasonable, don’t you?
Boring… very famous people are going to have to use the post / or a courier company to send in their tax returns and not as stated in my last piost…
What was the name of the firm that handles the post for HMRC… anyone remember?
GL… assist me in my hour of need… can you remove the ‘not’ in the post above… where I state that famous people are ‘not’ going to have to send in their tax retunrs by post…
Yes… I know… need a trainee to find the typos… but I am a humane employer… I don’t employ anyone… carbon free, green, equal opportunity and, thereby, Health and Safety compliant… way to go… I have persuaded the Indian government to buy my negative carbon account.
as it happens… I do use a call centre in Kazakhstan… excellent service…. I phone them quite often to see how they are coping with Charon enquiries … I find it more amusing than watching “Never Mind the Buzzcocks”, “Antiques Road Show” and a lot more amusing than watching “Top Gear” repeats….
OK… the doctors have just come back and they are not happy to find me smoking in the intensive care ward…. a Health & Safety issue because of the Oxygen mask I am supposed to wear at all times…. lying on on my heavily bandaged chest while I smoke…
They did not pick up on the fact that I replaced the saline solution feed to my right arm with some rather good Tempranillo…. and, so far, I have not got MRSA or Eboli…. (as a result of my intervening in the post-op treatment).
I am confident of a full recovery….
Ms R goes to Switzerland simply because that is where her best friend’s ex husband has a chalet that can easily sleep a mere 30 people. Strangely he is too busy making more money to use it. However Ms R is probably not as good as a skier as Geeklawyer having only returned to it after 15 years but loves it nonetheless. And you can even get laid when you’re there. Amazing.
Lucky cow - I have no friends with chalets - mooted buying one but I have insufficient money after snorting coke and going whoring. I mean, you know, priorities. I have promised myself a new car but I cannot decide between a old DB7, Ferrari or Porche.
In truth, I have no need for a car and all would be stupidly expensive to insure - so I may get something cheap and cheerful.
(Like a Toyta Yaris)
skiing - stick bits of wood on yer feet and point downhill - how hard can it be? and stupid posh (and wannabe) people do it - how much fun can it be?
see also golf.
mini-pup now!!!