Almost cer­tainly a spoof. Spot­ted via CharonQC and Liad­nan.

Ever­sheds HR peo­ple, one assumes together with their adver­tis­ing agency, seem to have come up with a cun­ning, and one can only assume coke fueled, cam­paign to aggres­sively not recruit anyone.

If you are one of the fol­low­ing types of lawyer you too can have an excit­ing career shuf­fling parts of exist­ing words around to form excit­ing inter­est­ing new mean­ing­less words. Are YOU a;

Log­ithiser?

Log­ithis­ers are capa­ble of shut­ting down their emo­tional mech­a­nisms to per­form feats of objec­tiv­ity and accu­rate thought. But equally, they have great pow­ers of empa­thy.

Proac­tilop­ers?

A moti­vated self-starter with a nat­u­rally inquis­i­tive mind, Proac­tilop­ers don’t wait to be asked before they begin pur­su­ing an idea. They are ener­getic bright sparks who see prob­lems on the hori­zon and deal with them before they reach the foreground.

The Pri­or­i­ca­tor.

They’ve honed their skills to an amaz­ing degree; to lis­ten to them is to under­stand and be con­vinced. They’ve mas­tered another essen­tial legal skill: they know how to pri­ori­tise. The Pri­or­i­ca­tor has devel­oped a remark­able abil­ity to recog­nise what’s most urgent and impor­tant and get on with it. Their clients often find that just as they reach for the phone to call their lawyer, it rings and they’re on the line.

Win­no­mat

He com­bines appar­ently con­flict­ing attrib­utes. On one hand they are dri­ven, com­pet­i­tive and deter­mined; on the other they are sen­si­tive to oth­ers, tact­ful and excel­lent negotiators.

Pro­fes­sion­ary

He is blessed with a com­bi­na­tion of men­tal agility and intel­lec­tual rigour, and is an asset to any busi­ness and indis­pens­able to ours. They have vision yet remain res­olutely professional.

Ino­va­teer

… has good rea­son to appear effer­ves­cent; their ideas are fresh, imag­i­na­tive and occa­sion­ally rebel­lious. And cru­cially, they’re not afraid to get on board with other peo­ple, recog­nis­ing as they do, that to be a cred­i­ble inno­va­tor you need to be an enthu­si­as­tic vol­un­teer as well.

And Geeklawyer’s per­sonal favourite — the Knowl­i­va­tor:

… stu­dious atti­tude, you might even mis­take them for being a lit­tle ret­i­cent. But really, they’re far from it. Knowl­i­va­tors are dri­ven to acquire knowl­edge from any pos­si­ble source – dig­i­tal, paper-based or human. They know stuff you thought nobody knew. … they man­age to moti­vate oth­ers with their pas­sion for learn­ing and knowl­edge. They don’t just have big brains; they have big per­son­al­i­ties too.

Geeklawyer is impressed inspired and thinks Ever­sheds are Craped­dlers;

“The Craped­dler is known for his inspi­ra­to­log­i­cally ener­go­matic client­cen­tric busi­ness inter­face solu­tions. But he isn’t just a machine; he is empathotic and ten­der­atic, unafraid to cry in front of his team when the puz­zled client moves to a new law firm.”