There are moments of sex­ual plea­sure that arrive unbid­den and unex­pected. That makes their impact and effect all the more sur­pris­ing and thrilling. Pol­i­tics would not nor­mally be a topic caus­ing Geeklawyer to ejac­u­late instantly spon­ta­neously and with­out warn­ing or the oppor­tu­nity for preparation.

Imag­ine, then, the 2pm client con­fer­ence in cham­bers: punter ‘A’ wan­ders into the con­fer­ence room attended by nobby solic­i­tors (well. OK ‘nobby’ & solic­i­tors don’t nor­mally go together).

The chav clerk wan­ders into room and whis­pers “sir might wish to see the news: Blair is giv­ing his last speech in Par­lia­ment”. You have, one imag­ines, seen it: it is a “where where you when Kennedy has his brain-ectomy” moment. Heav­ens, Blair is nearly in tears at the dis­patch box; “that’s it, that’s the last ques­tion I’ll deal with (snif­fle sob sob)” — or words to that effect.

Geeklawyer swears that he devel­oped a rag­ing hard-on and an urgent and imme­di­ate desire to see Ruthie for relief. Sadly Geeklawyer’s punter had to be sat­is­fied before he was. Per­haps it wasn’t so bad: the client, who Geeklawyer believed could see his hard-on, might well have assumed he was ultra-motivated by the case in hand. Pun­ters are often a bit dim really.

The last time Geeklawyer felt such a sick and guilty plea­sure was when Mar­garet “The Whore” Thatcher was ejected from Down­ing Street with a dis­play of glo­ri­ously pub­lic unquench­able wracked incon­solable tor­tured despair­ing tears. Oh heav­ens, the mere thought even now brings Geeklawyer to a shiv­er­ing invol­un­tary sap­ping emission.

Excuse him, but Geeklawyer must find some Kleenex.