GeekLawyer’s Blog

Regular readers will be aware that Ruthie has recently taken up rowing following injury concerns regarding the pursuit of her favourite sport, women’s rugby, believing the rowing would be a vigorous yet genteel activity.

Rowing is, however, not popular with the local swan population. We interrupt their peaceful swims with our flapping oars (well Ruthie does) and frequently crash into the bank near their nests. Swans have been known to take their revenge on passing oars-people with a thrusting peck, or in some instances even climbing onto the boat to make their views known.

Their protests thus far having failed to have much impact, the swans have upped the anti and and are employing guerilla tactics by shitting all over our landing stage. Rowing requires the removal of shoes prior to entering the boat at which point ones feet are inserted into fixed shoes in the boat. There is therefore some unavoidable padding around in socks. Ruthie duly removed her trainers, only to immediately step in a pile of swan crap. Said crap then being transferred into the shoes in the boat for the pleasure of the next crew-member, and back into Ruthie’s trainers upon her return to dry land.

But there was worse to come. Our cox slipped on some swan crap whilst attempting to enter the boat and punched a hole through the bottom of the boat. Our crew thus proving they can move quickly when required as the boat filled with water and began to sink.

Ruthie had been advised that rowing was good exercise without appreciating that the exercise involved bailing out and fishing boats out of the river...