Geeklawyer is sitting in a small airport in the US. Bangor. It has three cows and a duck outside the main area. He is waiting for his Chauffeur to pick him up for a 5 hour drive. And where, having watched ‘Deliverance’, he expects to be required to perform oral services on the local rednecks. Fuck: where’s Ruthie when you really need her?
Still: at least he has a mobile phone + N800 whereby he can post blog entries. so if Geeklawyer screams in panic just tell the police to come to GPS coordinates:4580q2v oj ^*&V *&^O.
Oh. Fuck
That phrase...
heh heh. I’ve paid a local 10 dollars to murder you and quietly dispose of the body. The blog will now be mine!! All mine!!!!
So Dan: if Geeklawyer doesnt turn up for his bowling engagement I wouldnt bother to hang around.
Ruthie, as you say the Blog would be yours, but you won’t have full control of it… GL would go to his grave with all the passwords in his booze-adled brain.
On another note…GL, what are you doing in the US? Why not pop up to Canada…we’re nicer. We don’t carry guns.
Ah. It’s a long tale not for the blog. But in summary I have an assignation & I may be procuring a replacement for Ruthie
Someone richer and sexier and who doesn’t even know I have a blog so I can be unmonitored and unnagged.
Rest assured however that I will come to America-Lite one day .
Uncharacteristically coy I see. Geeklawyer is currently having his teeth inspected by a wealthy Maine family to see if he is a marriageable prospect for their daughter who is far richer, but not as good looking as Ruthie.
So how do they produce Elk steaks, bows and arrows?
Bizarrely gun ownership in Canada is about the same level as the US but gun related crime is far lower. Clearly Canadians seem less inclined to shoot one another than Americans, although the fact that the population density in Canada is one Canadian per 100 square miles, guess its difficult to find someone to shoot. Also harder to get irritated by your neighbour.
There’s a cute little pseudo-documentary called Bowling for Columbine which starts off with looking at the levels of gun-related murders.
Yes Ruthie, Canadians have guns - but they aren’t semi-automatic hand-guns. Most who have guns use them for hunting (yes, people still go hunting here). One of my previous managers has a gun permit, mostly so she can go moose-hunting. My father has a gun as well - it’s a hunting rifle.
Whatever guns we do have tend to be of the rifle variety, not handguns. Not to say there aren’t individuals out there with handguns. There just tends to be this general sense of distaste for guns here.
The levels of violence also tend to be lower here, and we generally do not believe it is our god-given right to protect ourselves and our property
And I would have you know, the population density is 2 people per square kilometre - thank you very much.
But as much of Canada is under perma-frost most of us live within 200 km of the American border.
Its from Bowling for Columbine that I get my information about US v Canadian gun ownership and crime. I agree with Michael Moores assessment that gun crime is less about levels of gun ownership than about levels of fear within society. Fear will breed violence, the availability of guns simply means that shooting is the violent manifestation of choice. Over here we seem to like knives, although gun crime also seems to be on the increase.
I live in a very rural part of England and interestingly levels of gun ownership are very high in my locality. Gun related crime is extremely low although we had one celebrated case a couple of years ago where a man shot a burglar. Whilst there is an arguable case for possession of a shotgun if you are a farmer, I fail to see why anyone needs to own a handgun other than for legitimate sporting purposes.
Gun ownership is very tightly regulated in the UK. However its generally not the people who bother to apply for licenses that cause the problems. The problems are arise from illigitimate gun ownership, particularly in the inner cities. Unfortunately following the end of the cold war, western markets are now being flooded with eastern european weapons at knock down prices.
It has historically been cheaper to rent or buy an illegal gun, than to go through the process of joining a club, getting experience, applying for a certificate with modest fee to the local Ch Constable and then buying a second hand legal firearm.
Since the late 90s it has been illegal to posess a modern hand-gun in Great Britain (a few exceptions, but VERY few). This was to improve public safety after the dreadful Dunblane murders by Hamilton.
Since then the rate of firearm related crime increase has not slowed noticably, but the politicians do not appear botherd that our potential Olympic medal winners can’t train “the real deal” anywhere near home, there is always water to cross to get to Europe, Ireland (North or South) or the Channel Isles or Isle of Man.
When will they learn that making something illegal does not stop the criminally minded from just carrying on.
The law-abiding are the only ones to have the regulated civil liberty curtailed.
A more efficient improvement in public safety would be to either reduce the drink/drive alcohol level to ZERO or ban all drivers under the age of 25. But neither of those look like vote winners to me!
I’m more astonished that they actually let you in. If the rednecks don’t get you the CIA will…
I imagine you have already been on the phone to them grassing me up - however I have powerful protectors.
How many fingers did they scan on the way in…
Its not the finger scan that Geeklawyer was worried about…he was admitted after a thorough and intimate body search, such that the US authorities now have a scale drawing of his inner workings.
I’m sure it fulfilled Geeklawyer’s dark fantasies about having his civil liberties ‘abused’
I was about to say don’t put thoughts into his head, but I suspect such thoughts hardly need to be encouraged. Not only have they taken residence they’ve built houses and raised families.
All 15.
BTW GL dont forget to respond to Will Russell on the other thread to tell him he can come to the conference.
Was litigating and saw all this–whoa. GL can call me; I know lawyers in most towns and lots of people named Billy Bob, for translation services.
Dan, I was minded to ask for your comments on the whole gun ownership thing, being our token American, however I thought that you probably get sick of being asked about it by Brits.
It’s been a couple of years since I last went to the States, but the last time I went to New York I got questioned by immigration for smiling. No kidding. I tried to explain that I was simply happy to be there, but the authorities clearly felt that I was way too happy to be completely innocent.
Which is probably true.
Guns are bad–and I am selling all 4 of mine but not until after I leave southern Ohio later this week. US immigration people and airport security all over the world don’t like me much either. Not obsequious and pathetic enough. I am working on it, though.
But why are you selling them now? Sudden uncontrollable desires to run amok in the Supreme Court?
Cash flow. New toys. And to return to my Druid warrior roots.
Dan… for your Driud roots: May I recommend a ‘coracle’…. a perfect boat for lawyer bloggers…. uncontrollable and… astonishingly unmanageable.
I have no idea why our ancestors built them. I mean… they (our ancestors) must have seen the sleek shape of Viking long boats, heard of Roman Triremes… even the boats used in the Oxford & Cambridge race - yet… we have these beardies, featured on Discovery Channel, still buiding them… and, farcically, going round in circles as they try to cross the river….
Humiliating - that couch potatos / potatoes ( I can’t remember how Dan Quayle manged to spell this word) the world over should have to watch these people do this…. when they could be watching replays of England winning the Soccer World Cup in 1066 AD ‘In Color’ - thanks to some nifty work in post-production.
Mind you… I accept, at no time, did you ask for advice about Coracles or other water borne craft.. but… I do my best to contribute…. often without success. Did you meet up with Geeklawyer for your ten pin bowling?
I’m pretty sure I saw him having a tete a tete with Condi Rice…. a close encounter of the Fourth kind… which is why he may not have been able to meet you. Sky Channel News? … possibly… BBC World Service? I do know… that GL is going to be given an award by our Foreign Secretary - a dinner for two at Nobu…. she phoned to tell me. I did not even bat an eyelid when she told me this.
I am in both trial and agent mode in Ohio–but he can call and we’ll talk; you have my mobile. Or e-mail me and I’ll give it to you again. I’ll make time for the bugger. Coracle? Coracle?
I mean Ruthie e-mail me….Charon is going to help me get a Coracle. This is awful–I don’t even drink….it’s late and I am jabbering like a raccoon.