LONDON - FOR IMMEDIATE PUBLICATION
Infamous law bloggers Geeklawyer and Ruthie are pleased to announce their plans to get married.
Geeklawyer, expressing his delight, said:
“Whilst in my cups I realised that the bickering and public mockery of each other was symptomatic of deep and profound feelings. And I have become used to the bad sex and nagging; to a woman who is past her prime to the point of becoming positively stale; and frankly while she isn’t that bright she is at least marginally less vacuous than the supermodels I have been seeing.”
Ruthie was quoted as saying:
“To say that I am incredibly pleased would be an understatement. I’ve landed the big one; hit the motherlode. My intention in becoming a lawyer was always to land a barrister who was rich, a mensa member and a sexual athlete, but who was also modest and kind. Geeklawyer has done me an immense honour: I know I’m not good enough for him but I shall be trying.”
They will be married in St Paul’s Cathedral on October the 4th. Ruthie has commissioned a wedding dress from Dior and also a set of white leathers for the white Harley Davidson she will be driven away on. The honeymoon will be on Geeklawyer’s villa on the island of Mustique and then the Basildon Travelodge.
Update: at least one reader has sent an instant message of congratulations. Geeklawyer did tell him to read it more carefully but he/she shall not be named. Humiliation is for Geeklawyer’s punters, not his readers and friends 
Too late, Dan has already promised me a beach wedding in California.
But GL you do realise that if I get married, there will be no flirting and nothing to gossip about on the blog. We’ll be stuck having to write posts about serious law..
Oh thats OK, I’ll be writing the blog with my mistress(es).
So rude. Lucky Martin loves me
No. He is is driven by a temporary madness. A madness that affilcts all the victims of your witchcraft. Like the rest of us he will recover, and you will have to move on to new prey …
[…] on the heels of announcing our engagement comes less joyous news. Geeklawyer is having to end writing on the blog. This has been necessitated […]
My cousin, Cardinal Charoni di Tempranillo does a good service… would you like me to contact him?
Well done… I’ll raise a glass. Good news that The Bar Council has finally got you, GL…. Theought the new Chairman was quite nifty with Google!
Is he cheap? Ruthie is going to cost me a fortune as it is.
Perhaps if he will throw in a baptism later for free? And of course I need to put the sprog down for Eton right now, even though he hasn’t been conceived yet. Would have opted for Gordonstoun but that arsehat Prince Charles went there so it is out.
Not entirely sure of your role in my unmasking Charon - innocent bystander? Or did you assist the Chairman?
GL… I unmask no-one…. your secret is safe with me…
The Cardinal will do a baptism. Can get CPD points for that as well. 15 mins…. usually all it takes, allegedly…
Trust you manage to convince The Bar Council to relent…. when this day is over.
I may have to get that W H Auden poem out again if you are, truly, to stop blogging…
I’m trying to imagine what the sprogs would look like.
And would Ruthie be the first woman to successfully convince her house-husband (aka GL) to carry their sprogs to full term? I think Ruthie is capable of surmounting biological limitations.
I have faith in you Ruthie. Do us all proud and get GL preggers!
Mary, I had to rescue this comment from the spam filter - not sure it was worth the effort.
What would the sprogs look like?
With luck they would have Ruthie’s brain and Geeklawyer’s looks.
Oh, hang on.
Ruthie’s looks and Geeklawyer’s … erm … No.
We’re adopting.
I spent hours trying to figure out the spam protection question… hours.
I feel positively guilty for wasting your time. I woul mock you but since you will be on this side of the pond soon I daren’t lest I receive a battering.
I shall of course offer my skills on the nuptial day to entertain the crowds during the recess for the signing of the register.
The dulcet wafting tones of “Oh for the wings of a dove” emanating from the whispering gallery would be a sound that would haunt your wedding DVD forever….. forever
For no additional fee (for the first 24 hours) I can also provide top level sniper cover at the Basildon Travelodge to prevent Ruthie’s escape before GL manages to consummate the marriage, after 24 hours, the cause is lost and we look forward to a swift annulment.
The snipers will be necessary, but only to fight off the mercenaries, private clients of Ruthie for whom she has acted in the past, and who now too are ensnared and obsessed by her witch-like powers.
Geeklawyer will compel Ruthie, in the ancient Chinese manner, to wear shoes three sizes too small so that she cannot run away.
So then, superwide size 14 shoes have been ordered.