Mr Hull to you, of course. Dan has been sighted in Lon­don again; it appears that he lives on board a 747 so fre­quent are his sojourns to Dear Old Blighty.

This time he is vis­it­ing ex-pat US lawyers in Lon­don and also the Lon­don Stone. The lat­ter Geeklawyer had never heard of before — sup­pos­edly it is some sort of druidic thingy, Druids were always stoned. Geeklawyer isn’t that impressed: the only good use for a stone is weigh­ing down the bag full of one’s daughter’s kit­tens when it is thrown in a stream.

Per­plex­ingly, Dan, an oth­er­wise savvy Cal­i­forn­ian lawyer regrets not being able to meet Ruthie while over here:

“Ruthie–I am crushed at your refusal to do me–uh, meet me–at the Stone at high noon.”,

He pined on his blog.

He even described her as “tal­ented, allur­ing”. Ruthie’s only tal­ent is lur­ing; men to their mad­ness and destruc­tion. Geeklawyer, hon­ourably and with good intent, warned him of that:

“Beware Dan.

Since you have, in the past, been gen­er­ous in your praise I shall gift you a warn­ing. Ruthie is the female equiv­a­lent of Geeklawyer. Except that she has more testos­terone, con­cen­trated deprav­ity and vit­riol seep­ing from her pores than The Dark Lord.

Meet her in Lon­don and Ruthie will have you stripped right down to your wal­let before the words “hello Ruthie nice to meet …” have fin­ished echo­ing off the wall 20 feet away.

All that will remain of you will be a smok­ing cow­boy hat and an asth­matic Amer­i­can Express card (with an alarmed Amex SWAT team hop­ing to ame­lio­rate the dam­age to the Amer­i­can econ­omy). If I arrive in time ten­der­ness and fel­low feel­ing will allow me to dis­patch you mer­ci­fully so as to alle­vi­ate your pain.

And if you value LA girl­friend do NOT bring her to Lon­don. Ruthie’s idle time is spent on any hap­less imped­i­ment to her nefar­i­ous designs. For her, a rival mis­tress is a game to be played with a scalpel and salt over a period of 48 hours in a sound­proof cellar.

Posted by: Geeklawyer at March 5, 2007 09:07 AM”

Geeklawyer thinks that this warn­ing was a noble act since Ruthie will surely have her revenge for his attempts to save a vic­tim. His pri­vate inter­ven­tions with Ruthie to save Dan must remain a secret locked within Chamber’s vaults. Let us merely say that she melted scream­ing back into the night, hiss­ing through her vampyric fangs.

So why did it not work? Dark potions and spells. And well minced kittens.