The French

Dan Hull, on his recent European tour, had some really great sex in Paris.

At least Geeklawyer so surmises, based on his embarrassingly breathless reluctant schoolboy sighing about the French superiority over the English:

The French are

designed by God to seem as provokingly dissimilar from the British as possible. Catholic, Cartesian, Mediterranean; Machiavellian in politics, Jesuitical in argument, Casanovan in sex; relaxed about pleasure, and treating the arts as central to life, rather than some add-on, like a set of alloy wheels.

Geeklawyer would merely observe that the Jesuits were renowned for tendentious sophistry, Casanova had Gonorrhoea, the Catholics specialise in buggering little boys, Machiavelli was a failure, ç was pompous and the French know as little about art as Americans, possibly less.

The French have the pretence, a national self delusion, of culture and intellectualism, pseudo-intellectualism in fact; like all good bullshitters they will fool those with as little knowledge as themselves. For heavens sakes, this is a nation that encourages a retarded footballer to think it is acceptable to twitter pretentiously about 'seagulls and trawlers': "oh hee haw, I am how you zay, deep, profound, oui?"

No Dan, the French are full of more shit than George Bush after eating a pound of figs. They are the only European nation bad enough to make the English look good.

It isn't that Geeklawyer dislike schoolboy crushes but they are best left for schoolboys rather than adults.

It really is a pity Ruthie wasn't in Paris to keep you in check Dan.

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