No sooner does Geeklawyer get away for a skiing holiday than some imbecile client wants urgent ‘do it right now’ work on a corporate buyout. Thanks a bunch shithead.
Next, if that wasn’t bad enough, some cunt wants a patent finished. This time he is whinging that he gave Geeklawyer the job, and several others, a year ago but that he’s still not done them yet.
Well yea, but you don’t realise your stuff is fucking boring. And that he’d rather be watching telly. Or shagging that new pupilette. Or chasing newer richer punters. Jeez, stop thinking about yourself for a damned change.
Geeklawyer knows Dan Hull will rip into him for saying this, but the problem with punters is that they don’t seem to understand that they don’t matter. They exist to provide the pecuniary text on a fee note. And, in turn, that allows Geeklawyer to take extended skiing holidays. Or buy Ruthie presents. Or take the pupilette on a weekend shagging bender to Amsterdam to watch porno movies and smoke dope.
Now they are saying “get it done by (very very soon indeed) or we’ll take it down the road”. Well, OK be juvenile if you want to. Geeklawyer will be too. He’ll stay in his chalet drafting your damned patents. But by Christ your bills are going to be fucking huge this year - if you don’t sack him first. And if you do sack him you’ll get one totally fuck-off termination bill.
But since you don’t read this blog and you don’t know who Geeklawyer is, he’s pretty damned safe saying that.
He he he, sucker …
Whilst working may be dull at times, Ruthie generally finds the dull bits are offset by the interesting bits, and clients are frankly the most interesting part of her job. But thats crime for you. The money may not be brilliant, but you sure get to travel and meet interesting people. In fact (shhhh, its probably deeply uncool to say this but) Ruthie rather enjoys her job.
And however dull working can be, its still infinitely more interesting than queueing up at the jobcentre.
Sorry GL, fraid I’m with Dan on this one.
I apologise GL… I thought that you might find it amusing. I stayed up well past midnight preparing the documentation. I won’t do it again.
I did not do the patent one..tough…
‘Though’…that should have been.
Tomorrow… I will go to Chiswick Police Station and turn myself in. I have been thinking about this for some time. The guilt has been difficult to deal with. ( The burden of my life) I don’t want to see politicians and sundry hangers on/people on the make - being prosecuted in the cash/loans for honours scandal. I didn’t do it… but I do think I should so something for my country. Trouble is… I would not wish to be proscuted for wasting Police time. That is, I understand, a very serious matter. I left no DNA… and I am pretty sure that the fivers can’t be traced… so even your country soliciitor should be able to get me off… if I feel this way in the morning.
Interesting philosopho-legal question: Can Police be prosecuted for wasting their own time?
I shall phone Gordon and suggest that the next time Labour needs a bit of dosh…. they should try getting the day-time TV viewing sector of the British public to phone a very expensive telephone number and ask for “You Pay and You pay’ a new game show sponsored by HMRC.
[…] Meanwhile Geeklawyer is on the piste… in Austria… but still manages to get instructions on some corporate buy-out. This is serious client service. One gasps in admiration… […]