Geeklawyer is on holiday, but despite this he is still, astonishingly, working. He’s doing a corporate buyout. For his sins he is having to deal with a bunch of twatty country bumpkin solicitors. Geeklawyer has observed more than once that the more humble the firm, the more remote and insignificant the town they work in, the grander the partners and fee-earners become.
You can imagine, therefore, what the firm of Tweedy Smythe and Humbolt of lesser Stoke on Notley are like. And you can imagine the pain of dealing with a partner called Martin Snottley LLB (Clacton-on-Sea College of Law, 1972, 2.2): on Monday he was defending the landlord of the Black Swan on a charge of not having a tax disc, while the next day he was wearing his Head of Corporate Law hat. Neither Microsoft, Shell or HM Customs & Excise have yet graced his desk with an instruction, but Martin lives in hope.
Naturally when dealing with a Geeklawyer he is compelled to demonstrate that he is a Master of Law at every opportunity. While he is in fact merely a Plonker of Law. Geeklawyer often observes that the smaller the lawyer the greater the affectation.
Geeklawyer is famed for his inability to be affective.
If you are such a small town solicitor Geeklawyer will now offer you some friendly and constructive advice: you’re an insignificant nothing & a nobody, get fucking over it, pull over: the big boys are in the fast lane trying to get past you.
But oh my, why me? Geeklawyer is a nice chap, whatever the bitch goddess Ruthie says; and why do these people crop up only when he is on holiday? It’s not fair.
“Mein Herr: noch etwas ein fleische Schnapps, bitte. Rauch schwein! Rauch.”
Was?
Apparently Geeklawyer wants a meat Schnapps, which is, err, unusual. Perhaps he meant heiß?
Gut stuff… GL…
Is it possible that you will soon be telling us that you are a doughnut?
It is time for me to sleep… I feel certain that you are still up and about… in a bar?
Sausage? You’ve missed Charons point entirely (sigh, does the boy know nothing?) Kennedy said “Ich bin ein Berliner” he should have said “Ich bin Berliner” the addition of a pronoun in this instance turns a Berlin inhabitant into a rather tasty small doughnut.
I’ll be very glad when youve stopped drinking beer and started talking sense again.
Teetotalitarianism…Excellent word… I shall steal it for ‘mine own’ (attributed, naturally)
I do recall, in my youth, when I was under age, undergoing periodic bouts of abstinence — it was difficult, on occasion, to get booze at the detention centre in Scotland where I was educated… apart from that? No… never considered the idea. Should I?
Seriously… do one day a week… no food, no booze…just water
Priceless exchange… love it!
The supposed “Ich bin Berliner/Ich bin ein Berliner” gaffe is an urban myth: “Ich bin ein Berliner” is perfectly correct German for “I am as one with the citizens of Berlin”. Kennedy’s speech was translated for him by a professional German translator.
Dont you just hate a smartarse
By the way Liadnan, Im on one of my rare forays into the Temple on Thursday if you get bored at lunchtime.
Only just saw this: I would have done but presumably too late now. But if you see this and are still in town drop me a line at liadnan@gmail.com
Wer?
Flasche?
Blimey I’m English — we don’t do languages — least of all when drunk.
Mind you, a meat schnapps would be interesting: but until then a bottle of schnapps will do just fine.
I think my German is pretty good since I’ve only been playing with it for a week. I had to: you see my bloody translator was supposed to be coming skiing with me, but she decided she’d rather do work for ‘the biggest most serious client you can imagine’ — I’ll mention no names to spare her the shame.
Unlike Kennedy I am not under the delusion I am a sausage.
I was indeed in a bar: I won’t tell you how much I’ve spent on beer — simply because Ruthie would nag. It was an impressive and alarmingly high amount, doubly so since I am drinking on my own for the first week. What happens when my mess colleagues arrive just doesn’t bear thinking about. I will be going teetotal for a bit when I get back to the UK though.
Ever had bouts of teetotalitarianism Charon?
I know next to nothing about the German language. But then I thought that was rather obvious and not a point missed at all; Kennedy, sausages or otherwise. So no, I didn’t miss the point.
Stoopid Ruthie you are so stupid, they must have run out of stupid parts after they made you.
But if I’m sober how will I work up the will to talk to you?
BTW we agreed to have domestics away from the blog. Dammit wench, you’re in trouble when I get back
Tried to respond GL..but your spam protection device decided I was a serial spammer
Oh, and I’m getting complaints about the standard of your language. I’ve explained that the coarseness of your language is proportionate to amount of alcohol consumed, and that matters should improve once you return from holiday.
Oh, that’s a fucking shame.
i.e. Minor Junior, & it appears QC, are on their way out and she’s hunting for new replacement talent…
Hard though this may be to belive, Ruthie does not see every man as potential bait. On occassions she talks to men…er just to talk to them, or to have someone to chat with over lunch.
Currently Ruthie is totally stacked on the work front, therefore thoughts of chasing trouser have been somewhatn subsumed under paperwork, since Ruthie, unlike Geeklawyer does’t have a 50 week a year holiday, then do work during the two weeks abroad that less privileged mortals take as holiday.
Yeah, sorry should have thought to mail you from your site. In the event I had a grumpy fit as there was a problem with the case i was working on so not sure I would have been much fun anyway.
Due to the change of firm I find myself down in town with increasing frequency, so I’ll drop you a mail next time I’m down.
And its hardly as though I’m grooming innocents. I’m sure the various gentlemen concerened are old enough and clever enough to form their own views as to whether they want to talk to me or not.