Geeklawyer is on holiday, but despite this he is still, astonishingly, working. He’s doing a corporate buyout. For his sins he is having to deal with a bunch of twatty country bumpkin solicitors. Geeklawyer has observed more than once that the more humble the firm, the more remote and insignificant the town they work in, the grander the partners and fee-earners become.
You can imagine, therefore, what the firm of Tweedy Smythe and Humbolt of lesser Stoke on Notley are like. And you can imagine the pain of dealing with a partner called Martin Snottley LLB (Clacton-on-Sea College of Law, 1972, 2.2): on Monday he was defending the landlord of the Black Swan on a charge of not having a tax disc, while the next day he was wearing his Head of Corporate Law hat. Neither Microsoft, Shell or HM Customs & Excise have yet graced his desk with an instruction, but Martin lives in hope.
Naturally when dealing with a Geeklawyer he is compelled to demonstrate that he is a Master of Law at every opportunity. While he is in fact merely a Plonker of Law. Geeklawyer often observes that the smaller the lawyer the greater the affectation.
Geeklawyer is famed for his inability to be affective.
If you are such a small town solicitor Geeklawyer will now offer you some friendly and constructive advice: you’re an insignificant nothing & a nobody, get fucking over it, pull over: the big boys are in the fast lane trying to get past you.
But oh my, why me? Geeklawyer is a nice chap, whatever the bitch goddess Ruthie says; and why do these people crop up only when he is on holiday? It’s not fair.
“Mein Herr: noch etwas ein fleische Schnapps, bitte. Rauch schwein! Rauch.”
Was?
Apparently Geeklawyer wants a meat Schnapps, which is, err, unusual. Perhaps he meant heiß?
Gut stuff… GL…
Is it possible that you will soon be telling us that you are a doughnut?
It is time for me to sleep… I feel certain that you are still up and about… in a bar?
Sausage? You’ve missed Charons point entirely (sigh, does the boy know nothing?) Kennedy said “Ich bin ein Berliner” he should have said “Ich bin Berliner” the addition of a pronoun in this instance turns a Berlin inhabitant into a rather tasty small doughnut.
I’ll be very glad when youve stopped drinking beer and started talking sense again.
Teetotalitarianism…Excellent word… I shall steal it for ‘mine own’ (attributed, naturally)
I do recall, in my youth, when I was under age, undergoing periodic bouts of abstinence - it was difficult, on occasion, to get booze at the detention centre in Scotland where I was educated… apart from that? No… never considered the idea. Should I?
Seriously… do one day a week… no food, no booze…just water
Priceless exchange… love it!
[…] bumpkin solicitors Love this post, by Geeklawyer. Whilst I have every sympathy for him, he doesn’t have to deal all the time […]
The supposed “Ich bin Berliner/Ich bin ein Berliner” gaffe is an urban myth: “Ich bin ein Berliner” is perfectly correct German for “I am as one with the citizens of Berlin”. Kennedy’s speech was translated for him by a professional German translator.
Dont you just hate a smartarse
By the way Liadnan, Im on one of my rare forays into the Temple on Thursday if you get bored at lunchtime.
Only just saw this: I would have done but presumably too late now. But if you see this and are still in town drop me a line at liadnan@gmail.com