Had a brief, interrupted, phone conversation with our possible sponsor on Friday. They wished to know a little more of what it was all about but seemed positive. Unfortunately the number of tunnels on my train ride made it necessary to abort the phone call until next Monday. Hopefully I’ll have positive news on the venue by then.
We also managed to get some sponsorship money from Freeth Cartwright: tech savvy law firm and originator of the Impact blog - thanks to the advocacy efforts of Alex.
On a downside Ruthie is pestering me to do a t-shirt design and is determined to flog t-shirts. I’m a bloody barrister not a graphic designer: I have a proper job. As far as flogging t-shirts goes, I’m far too important to do anything as grubby as engage in commerce. That’s what the East End oiks in the clerks room are for. Or it would be if they weren’t talking about their weekend at Catford dog track, or the punch up they’d had after the Arsenal match. Or how much nicer their Porsches are than my Volvo. Wankers.
Ruthie is far worse, and she is mad and will drag me down with her. What the hell do all these stupid men see in her? A tax loss I assume, you can right off a mistress I assume? Makes a change from fictional conferences.
This evenings rantings have been brought to you under the laborious influence of sobriety: Geeklawyer rather rashly promised Ruthie he would not drink until his skiing holiday in Austria later this month (he normally drinks excessively there and she thinks he ought to give his liver a fighting chance). Geeklawyer hates Ruthie. So many lovers; so much dimness ….
Good evening, Mr Bond… I cannot imagine that you would think that T-shirts for the ‘Blawg Conference’ is a great idea - no matter how many glasses/jugs of mead you may have decided to liberate this night.
Ruthie is cool - but… I suspect that the snow, falling over Southern Britain in recent days- and her clear ambition to replace Lord Falconer LC - may well be affecting her judgement.
Let me say this - I am happy to wear a Top Hat (black silk) - gray is not a good look - unless you are a Hanoverian Royal or a character from Alice in Wonderland.
I am happy to nip off to Ede & Ravenscroft in Chancery Lane and see what their ‘Summer Season’ brings in sartorial terms - only so that I may suggest that ASDA knock out a copy at a very significant price below the price of the Ede offering…. they usually have something ‘fustian’ on sale - sutiable for people who like to dress in the dark.
BUT… I do not think even in my guise as Charon - do I wish to deliver a ‘key-note’ speech to the Royal Society of UK Law Blawgers - wearing a T-shirt.
I have my outfit - it will be Highland Dress - and I will apply to the Metropolitan Police for permission to put a knife in my right green wool stocking. (A dirk) No… I promise that I will not be wearing a kilt - ludicroous brigadoonery and tam foolery.
I shall wear something from Thierry Mugler…and sing…, as I enter…. “Just a jump to the left’… or ‘in just seven days…they made me aman.” from The Rocky Horror Show.
Are you sure you want me to attend this conference, let alone give a keytone speech…? (Sorry… key-note)
Happy to consider a shell suit - provided you can get a sponsor who will give The Bar Benevolent Fund a modest donation - I hear that some enterprisng soul is about to set up “SILKLINE”… so that barristers who take Silk may talk confidentially (at £1 a minute to a legally qualified consultant, who may, possibly, also be a solicitor with one of those organisations who advertise on daytime TV ) - about their stress levels and lack of instructions.
I do hope that all is well… Where is Dan?
I’m a little uncertain of the t-shirt idea but the tyrant has a view; I’m saving my ammunition for that ‘Zulu Dawn’ last ditch battle: the one where a blood crazed Ruthie climbs over my ramparts, knobkerry in one hand, shield and baby in the other.
I intend use as many of those bullets as I can to shoot myself, rather than be subject to a fate worse than death: marriage, or whatever other torture she has planned for me…
I am worried about Dan: I plan to send out a rescue party soon …
I am getting quite good at these Maths codes needed to post on this blog. (one in four of my posts seem to get through)
Thank god (lower case deliberate to avoid upsetting all the religions on this earth who claim that their god is god) you did not require accurate typing ‘captchas’….
Why do you let Ruthie influence your consumption of booze? ( I quote your own blog, lest you have an ‘aphasic’ moment on the morrow)
“Geeklawyer rather rashly promised Ruthie he would not drink until his skiing holiday in Austria later this month”
May I suggest that you ‘pray in aid, as Lord Denning MR was fond of saying - the European Laws on free movement of goods, the Human Rights Act - and Chapter 4, paragraph 4(d) (iii) of my new book: ‘ Charon’s Licensing Law for Topers” available only through the Shopping Channel on SKY.
Sorry… you will have to buy my book to see what I have to say on this topic. My clerk suggested that I should adopt a more formal approach in the wake of the plan that barristers may be paid in a timely manner by solicitors - or, even, at all.
Geeklawyer - mon dieu .. . you are very quick to reply to posts tonight. Clearly - you are (a) reading your blog (b) able to use your own ‘maths captcha’ codes and (c) are using a device which enables you to visit your blog.
I will tell Dr Watson - that I have solved the ‘Hound of the Bloggervilles’ case, on the strength of this elementary analysis. Watson is out with friends, tonight, at Spearmint Rhino and may well be doing his favourite songs at a Karaoke Bar in Soho later. (He likes the Village People - and left Baker Street, tonight, dressed as a Red Indian.)
Thank you CharonQC for reminding me of aphasia: I should have tried this with Ruthie. However I doubt she would believe it …
And yes I do want you to give the keynote, really.
T-shirts…Silk…Highland Dress…Zoot suits maybe…White shark-skin suits, in case they invite you to the races….but more on point: what will Ruthie be wearing?…what’s she wearing right now?
To Dan: since I started working from home I increasingly sit at my computer wearing a skimpy bath robe and a dirty smile, but I’d rather you’d didn’t dwell on that image, nor am I about to enter into correspondance regarding it…
To Charon: I never could imagine you in a Tshirt. We are having a Saville Row suit commissioned for you with “Geeklawyer.org” embossed into the sky blue silk lining…
As for aspiring to Lord Falconers job, I fear all prosepects of judicial office for Ruthie ended the moment she started writing this blog…
To Geeklawyer:
I am aware of many barristers who find imaginative ways to write their mistresses off to tax.
Dont get any ideas.
R–March 14, London Stone, high noon, you: red shoes and hat, me: fit, good looking aristocratic chap, 5′10″, in spats and bow tie in LA black with Villon volume. Don’t hide from me. D
Dan: you have a weird hat fetish.
But Geeklawyer will tell you the most important question is:
“are you very rich?”
R–Remember, March 13-15 in London and then I go Kent (Barham), Munich, Austria…London Stone is about 1000 plus years, Cannon Street, across from train station, in an iron grille set within the Bank of China….Blake thought it was a Druid execution thing, but I know better….we won’t have much time. And then after Austria I go to Paris but you can’t come on that one; however, I’ll be at Hotel du Jeu de Paume on “my island” if you are in town–but only for an hour or so and if you promise not to do that yodel thing all over Ile Saint-Louis like you did last time from the Paume….London, a few hours….Paris–60 minutes….Ruthie, don’t screw this up…answers: yes, all Americans are (not hat thing, though), very, why not, and it’s all a free-for-all where I come from. Dan
It would be nice to meet you for all the right reasons, but since Geeklawyer has been pestering me to go and see him for the past week, if I met you in preference to him, he is likely to be very unhappy indeed.
If I find myself in London on business between 13-15 March I will come and say hello, but dont spend any money on red hats specially.
If not, no doubt I will see you at the blogging conference
Your loss. Well, I’ll wait there for 20 minutes anyway…bring your own hat if you change your mind.
Dan… excellent description on your blog about what you plan to do in Paris. I have taken the liberty of quoting from it…and, of course, referring interested readers to the original exposition.
Talking of hats…I quite like opera gloves…. they suit me.
Is Ruthie a dude?
Good, you’re planning ahead. Can that be on agenda?