GeekLawyer’s Blog

Geeklawyer thinks that, like the Queen, he should review the year. The power to revise it being beyond him, sadly. Delivering the Geeklawyer Speech on Boxing Day may seem like deference to Lizzy; but Geeklawyer is a Republican who’d happily tell the Royals he’d arranged a blood sports party for them and then, assault rifle in hand, lead them braying into a freezing dank deserted echoing Russian basement cellar to participate in the choir of Dying Screams …

No, his motive is merely the desire to avoid competition & to allow the turkey its full moment of festive season honour.

Idle Gossip:

Geeklawyer hopes that everyone had a good Xmas; not too much booze drunk, presents were all expensive & good (all that “it’s the thought that counts” stuff is bollocks) and not too many vulnerable pupils/trainees were shagged in photocopying rooms.

OK strike the last one. Geeklawyer thinks that one of the few advantages of the Bar is the ready availability of intelligent pretty young totty. And having lost his mistress this year there is a vacancy for such a pupilette willing to help Geeklawyer with his briefs.

Since Geeklawyer is alone on Boxing Day, watching crap films on TV while blogging, & having a Mead Moment (the approximate equivalent of one of CharonQC’s Rioja Rampages) he will be unforgivably indiscreet and reveal that Ruthie’s love life this year has moved from famine to feast: she is being ardently courted by several members of the Bar at once; a High Court judge (”Lady Ruthie”?), a QC and a minor junior as runner up. But none, so she says, seems able to give a decent Xmas pressy. Evidently Ruthie seems to believe that the cab rank rule applies to suitors!

One supposes that she imagines that, like buses, there are no lovers for ages and then three cum all at once.

The problem, as Geeklawyer has often observed while watching the bottom of his pint glass becoming rapidly clearer, with sex at the bar is that one risks the landlord throwing one out. And nothing is more embarrassing than premature ejaculation.

Law:

Weeeell, Geeklawyer thinks this will be a short section.

ip/it/ecommerce

Rubbish. Mostly.

Two cheers for the Gower(s) report: nice to see someone producing an official policy review that takes an objective & disinterested view rather than merely regurgitating a music & film industry drafted press release for a change. On the basis that everyone is unhappy with bits of it, it is probably worth serious consideration. Any report advising the introduction of a parody & sarcasm defence gets Geeklawyer’s vote.

The Open Rights Group got a new Executive Director: Geeklawyer fan-girl, uber sexy Becky ‘1000 IQ’ Hogge.
ORG still seems to be finding its feet. That is not criticism, it does not have the dosh of the content industries to hire in expert PR and lobbying wonks: they are just a bunch of ‘mere’ consumers & citizens learning on the job. Sue Charman has done a good job so far but Geeklawyer thinks that with a professional journalist & egghead at the front they will get much sharper now.

Geeklawyer is paranoid his clients will run the increasing risk of extradition to the Evil Empire merely because some in-bred Mississippi DA is running for office & wants to look tough on online crime/gambling/sex/being rude to Bush/spam.

Civil Liberties

Jeez, where to start? Or finish for that matter.

Neo Labour continues destroying civil liberties in the Mother of all Democracies in its populist ‘race to the bottom‘; ever desirous as it is of seeking re-election, sorry ‘rebalancing‘ the system in favour of victims, it promises to protect us from the threat of the terrorism it created. So;

ID Cards & the surveillance database state, throttling legal aid, detention without trial, pointless prison population increases, ASBOs & any number of other ineffective ‘headline for a day‘ gimmicks.

Fuck it: fill in your own rant here: ……………………………………..

Now, didn’t that feel good?

Geekery:

OSs & computers

Geeklawyer thinks that his purchase of a 24″ dual screen Apple iMac was favoured by the Gods: powerful, secure, reliable, sexy, good looking & cleverer than the Albert Hall filled with the cleverer members of Mensa; in short it’s a bit like himself. It enabled the podcasts that are a fun feature of this blog (and more stuff in future).

He now intends to get a new Intel Powerbook to replace the PPC one he currently has; it’s the dogs danglies. He also intends to convert Ruthie to the one true Apple OSx faith and away from her terrible Microsoft Windows paganism.

As with all true geeks, Linux will remain the supermodel OS of Geeklawyer’s dreams: ultra desirable, sexy, hinting at unspoken unspeakable dark pleasures enjoyed discretely behind closed bedroom doors. But at the same time, like dating Winona Ryder, she is psychotic mercurial high maintenance and not yet at a practical ‘settling down‘ stage of her life. One day she may mellow, while still being young & slim, and when that happens we will settle down. But until then her sensible but very attractive sister will do.

Podcasts

Geeklawyer has enjoyed making these hugely and they seem to have been reasonably well received. They are not without significant criticism however: they lack structure & planning. A colleague, ******* ******, described them as piss poor: from anyone else that would have been stinging criticism but as a Tory self confessed paedophile humourless fuckwit his views matter little. However there needs to be an improvement in content. There also needs to be a radical improvement in production values: Geeklawyer might even take a course in podcast production. If Geeklawyer can persuade Ruthie to buy a Macbook she may be able to play a greater role in them: whether that is good or wise is unclear!

Geeklawyer intends to write his own content management system in Ruby despite Wordpress being entirely adequate. Why? it’s a geek thing: always write your own code, never adapt anyone else’s unless unavoidable, reinventing the wheel is good. Anticipated pre-alpha release should be April.

2012.

Geeklawyer is intending to write a compiler for his own language. He has never written a compiler before, or designed a language; and he did a physics degree not a computer science degree. Nor is he a decent hacker. You can imagine therefore the likely outcome of a barrister writing a compiler: ‘cluster fuck’ would be a reasonable prediction. However being bad at something that’s fun is no reason not to do it: for example Geeklawyer actively encouraged his last mistress’ sickening sexual deviancy to everyones pleasure.

professional

Geeklawyer was a little tardy doing his CPD hours this year, but will do them all on time next year, honest. And with CharonQC’s excellent courses this will even be a viable goal.

Geeklawyer’s ex-mistress made it entirely clear that she was massively unimpressed with his professional situation: his chambers are modest. In some part this may have significantly influenced her decision to leave him and take up with a much richer lawyer: what’s love when one can have money & power by proxy? Not that Geeklawyer is bitter & twisted. Oh no.

Geeklawyer will seek a decent new set to join next year and find a more upmarket replacement mistress. There is even talk of an American heiress with, apparently, designs on Geeklawyer. Perhaps he will join the New York Bar & wreak his havoc on the other side of the pond.