GeekLawyer’s Blog

Hope they paid you for that review.

Does Ruthie sound like you too?

Sadly no. But I got a free book Now if the publishers of Atkins Court Forms & Halsbury’s Laws want to get in touch I think I can arrange a prompt & shameless puff …

Ruthie does not sound like me - her voice is much more masculine. But none of you will ever find out.

The book can’t be that great since Geeklawyer e mailed me yesterday asking for some advice on defamation law!!!
As for whether I sound like Geeklawyer..the clear inference being that I don’t actually exist and am in fact a figment of Geeklawyer’s fertile/furtive/febrile imagination.

Whilst I’m sure that Geeklawyer is perfectly capable of creating me, his enormous ego would prevent him from doing so.

What do I sound like? A bit Miss Piggy without the American accent I fear. I did say to Geeklawyer that he would have to let me do a podcast as my fans would be howling to hear from me.

And so it comes to pass. Course he’ll have to let me do one now just to prove that I do exist.

Ask you for defamation advice?! pfff. If I ever get that desperate I’ll know its time for a career change.

I would only say to such fans: beware your hearts desire, lest you achieve it. She does indeed sound like Ms Piggie
And you’ll never get a mac since you just aren’t cool enough.

I would prefer Ms Piggie to the voice of Radio 4

ribbit

I’ve never been accused of being too Radio 4 before but even so I wouldn’t take it as an insult however intended.

Nothing “too” about Radio 4, it’s a great institution, a great service, and has the best people on it. Just saying I prefer voices with tits.

Sadly, I don’t have tits - but my voice, as soon you will disocer is BBC NewsReader circa 1950 saying ‘Good evening. This is London.” I will be doing my audio blog from my staterooms in West London - dressed, naturally, in a dinner Jacket. I may not bother with trousers.

Ruth’s voice, as it happens, is quite mellifluous - with a firm edge to it. (As one would expect from a biker!)

LIKED THE LATEST PODCAST, GEEKLAWYER - A ouch of Tom Conti creeping in whih gave the review authority, dignity and ‘believeability.’

I am using Audacity but I can’t see to get the exp[ort to mp3 to work today. However - I am frtunate in having a small TV crew who do all our filming at the othe office and I shall be wasting their time on Monday.

We shall overcome - and march against the French again.

I am sitting here nursing a leg with 7 hairline fractures. I also now seem to have quite severe neck stiffness from Whiplash.

i do not recommend looki8ng at Internet medical websites to diagnose fault. I was quite convinced that I also had tetanus (lock jaw) on the way, Acromegaly (Head getting bigger) and a host of other ailments. I phoned a friend of mine who is a doctor, explained the position (He had, fortunately, read my blog - so was aware of the accident). he was horrified that i had stitched my own wound with cotton - relaxing only when I told him that I had sterilised the cotton with brandy and dettol and told me that whiplash injury was very common and nothing which a bottle of Rioja and some neck exercises would not sort out.

Taking his advice, I am off, now, to drink some Rioja at a birthday party which starts at 2.00.

I may be back later, to this place, with less than sensible observations.

I remain…impressed with your Podcasts - very good. Like them

Perhaps you could squeeze in a bit of non-legal matter?

A piu tarde

Charon

I greatly regret the passing of ‘received’ English at the BBC: I’ll happily accept a Mancunian accent in the lyrics of my favourite band or a chav selling me cannabis in a pub, er I mean Amsterdam pub - honest, and obviously I’ll take money from a scouse punter - if there are no decent clients in the alternative. But. I expect non-’yoof’ BBC presenters to speak properly & you can bugger the accessibilty issues. Yes, this does make me sound like a young fogey but I don’t give damn.

I dont understand the Tom Conti compliment - a fine fellow though and thanks. A friend did say I sounded drunk on the first podcast but not the second - I dont think I was - to the best of my recollection. I’m very concious that typing entries while hammered probably doesn’t come across too badly on the published page, but slurring my inebriated way through a rant very probably would. I may well digress onto non-legal matters as appropriate opportunities arise.

Your problem with mp3’s and audacity is a software patent error: Audacity cannot include the ‘liblame’ mp3 library due to these patents. If you have not downloaded that library & let Audacity know where to find it, it cannot export MP3’s. Googling for “audacity mp3 export liblame” may help. Or not.

I’m horrified that you evaded the hospital - madness. What if you’d had a broken neck or internal bleeding? As for autosurgery I can only think it was shock from the impact that made you undertake such madness. I suppose that being rear-ended by a twit is unavoidable - unlike a car driver pulling out of a side turning.

Additionally you missed a moneymaking opportunity: I was knocked off a bicycle in 2001 by a decent chap in his late forties, also with a child. He pulled out on me and, unlike you, I howled the moon until an ambulance arrived. While not that seriously injured I used my professional knowledge and I eventually relieved his insurers of 25,000 quid after manipulating everyone involved.

So sorry to hear about your bike accident Charon. Thank God only leg fractures and whiplash.

And Geeklawyer: you are such a snob it’s untrue. I bet you’re even proud of it…

Phew. Your razor like insight is as finely honed as ever, Ruthie.

I must mention to readers that I did once suggest to Geeklawyer that he might consider dual qualification as a solicitor. I was surprised to learn that he would prefer to bugger a squirrel.

Geeklawyer…Tom Conti is a great actor - and he has a similar sardonic tone in his voice to yours…although he is a Scot. It was a compliment.

Hospitals are not great places to go to… I am used to patching myself up from my days in Africa… No big deal.

Whiplash… Rioja relaxes all muscles - but on occasion - as tonight with whiplash, most beneficial.

I have no desire to sue anyone - and the damage to the bike has come to just under 150 quid… Life… is just too short to waste my life pursuing an insurance company for 150 quid.

I did have a proper medical check up today - and yesterday…. but I just could not see the point of going to a busy A&E department when I knew how to deal with it myself… hairline fractures are mildly painful…and… my legs tend to feel the Rioja before my brain… so all is well

I have little blood left in my body - much of the ’staff of life’ which runs my central nervous sysatem etc etc comes from a fine vineyard in Spain..thankfully….and…while I did lose some of the red stuf … I was able te re-stock at The Swan with a couple of glasses of Rioja about forty minutes or so after the accident.

I have avoided the mp3 problem entirely by using our professional recording software - so mp3s no longer a problem…

Trouble is… I have been mildly overrefreshed for much of the day - on the advice of my doctors - to reduce neck stiffness. I have also been to a birthday party and, later, dining with an old mate of mine who has retired as a fairly senior partner at Slaughter & May . he seems very relaxed even if he has just worked out that an Oyster card might be something he should buy because ther are no longer any parking spaces in London at all / or at reasonable daily rates. This precludes the recording of blogs on human rights grounds.

I am now so relaxed….that I find myself posting on your blog rather than my own…again

Sorry about the double entry earlier - but there were so many typos in my first entry I thought that I might be able to correct by re-posting… Your software does not permit over refreshed contributors from editing/retracting or even revising or adding… unless I am missing something???

The human body has a remarkable ability to heal itself… and I have found that doctors are a bit like lawyers - best avoided unless one really wants to litigate or make something which is essentially simple to solve…rather more complicated.

Don’t worry.. I have set fire to myself for this heresy… so no need to have me burnt at the stake for such a view
Anyway… I shall begin tomorrow secure in the belief that I have cheated Satan again… and I do not, yet, need to ferry myself across the Styx… to my eventual spiritual resting place with a silver coin in my mouth

I am pleased to be able to report that I shall pick my bike up from Chiswick Honda on Monday… as I have every confidence that my leg - without medics interfering with it - will be able to operate the rear brake - a brake, as it happens, which I find myself reluctant to use after 20 years of riding.

I do hope that there aren’t too many typos… because I am about to enter your security codes and commit myself to the ether, irrevocably, forever.

Ah…excellent… I see that the host and hostess are both up !

I have no idea, however, how I am still at it…

I saw a squirrel in my garden the other day… It was about the size of a small dog. It may have been my new reading glasses … but it was a very militant squirrel. It knocked on the conservatory door and asked for peanuts, olives and a small martini… I blame David Attenborough for the rise in militant activity among small mammals.

Like actors… many reptiles, mammals and other creatures great and small - are starting to believe in their own publicity and fame.

Mind you…legal TV have started putting lawyers on TV… a very worrying trend… I gather that some of them are also moonlighting as Chefs… or, as recently reported in the News of the World, as gigolos…

agggggggghhhhhh - how did that apostrophe get into gigolos? Rioja and typing too quickly. My apologies.