Geeklawyer has tasted blood. And he likes it.
As Ruthie has frequently observed, Geeklawyer is something of a hypocrite: espouse freedom of speech but delete the speech of others. With bloodsports Geeklawyer has always taken the position that killing other species for entertainment is depraved revolting and appropriately semi-legal.
Geeklawyer went fishing with ‘Remigius’ today and killed a defenseless fish. For fun and curiosity:
Being his first fish he felt compelled to pursue the process to its logical conclusion. Having bought supermarket fish he was familiar with the broad concepts of gutting beheading & descaling.
He brought the fish, a ‘Karosas’ - though the English translation is unknown (carp it seems?), back after a 45 minute walk through the Palusa forests fully expecting it to have died from lack of oxygen. Geeklawyer would also, normally, have expired in the same period - without oxygen that is, not as a result of the exercise. Alarmingly the fish remained alive on its return from the trip. Having dumped it in a container of water to wash the dirt off the question was what to do with it. Obviously being a first fish kill the normal non-girly thing to do would be to kill and eat it. But then there is the old ethical point: is it proper to kill things for fun? or only for aboriginal justification?
Geeklawyer showed the carp the blade that he would use to terminate its existence. He held said carp to the plate and in two ‘V’ shaped cuts severed its head from its body, as though it were an American hostage in the hands of Iraqi freedom fighters.
Peculiarly, unlike an American hostage it didn’t scream as it died. As its head fell to the plate it continued to gasp. An airless soundless gasp; no Geeklawyer did not expect the fish to scream, but at that point of primitive consequence it would have been appropriate.
Geeklawyer eviscerated the fish body and microwaved it for a few minutes.
He removed the still gasping fish head from the water and seated it on the plate so that it might watch as Geeklawyer ate its now well cooked body.
The fish head gaped. It’s jaw flapped uselessly and soundlessly as the now detached and well cooked fish body slid down his throat. In a moment it was over. 300 calories to him - to the fish? life itself.
Geeklawyer would like to say that he felt a degree of guilt. In truth there was a deviant Marquis de Sade moment of depraved pleasure as he compelled the victim to watch him consume his flesh.
You can kill them quicker by sticking your fingure or hand (depending on size of fish) down their throat and pulling their necks back so it cracks their spine. Glad to hear you have been enjoying the fishing.
When I was a kid we’d hold the body in the left hand just behind the gills and then cup the fish’ chin with our right hand with our first two fingers in the gills on either side. Then bring your right hand up and across your left and the head pulls back and snaps the neck.
Very quick for the fish, but from the sounds of things Geeklawyer is after a name change to Bloodlawyer. If he carries on like this he’ll only be interested in defending the Mafia and will be asking to see their operation.
Pistrix! Pistrix! - Shark! Shark!
I am, however, pleased that you have the time to eviscerate… such a good word. Please remember that fish hunt in shoals…kill one… the others send a message to the equivalent of the Fish CPS…and, next time you are in the water - alone - the sharks will come… and they will, quite happily, without thought that you may be a human rights lawyer - eat your leg first….and then…, claim points from The Law Society CPD unit, bfore having a seconf go at your arm or gown.
I wish you well with you tour…in Lithuania. I looked it up on Google. I am sure you are enjoying the experience. I had absolutely no idea that lithuania was so close to Argentina… I really thought that it was closer to delhi. Where are you - geeklawyer?
Charon has had a most enjoyable evening - but wishes that he, too, was ‘en vacances’. Sadly, he is not
If Lithuania is near Argentina then my pilot made a very serious navigational error. It is, in fact, near Russia.
I would wish to have the class to yell “Pistrix” as the black blade of death scythed through the water towards me - in times of emergency, however, a classy death is less desirable than survival. Of course a passing boat load of Carthusian monks might haul me from the water and then both kudos and survival might be achieveable.
And the shark with its heightened senses would know that I was a lawyer: it would recognise the steely glint of a superior killing machine and exercise the better part of valour…
Damn, I was going to leave a witty comment about sharks and lawyers but you beat me to it. [shakes fist impotently]