The Register reports that having a shag is a cure for public speaking nerves. Apparently specific hormones are released in pair-bonding sexual acts that induce a level of calm and lowered blood pressure that are not released by other forms of sex (would onanism work if one were particularly self-obsessed and narcissistic Geeklawyer wonders? Abstractly of course).
Geeklawyer realises that this research will also apply to the members of the Bar. Those hideous moments of nervousness prior to appearing in court, that were previously relieved by the consumption of alcohol or the inhaling of Jamaican/Colombian plants, now have an acceptable anaesthetic.
Assuming that is that the said rumpy pumpy doesn’t take place in the robing room or the court toilet of course: the correct place for lawyer sex is in chambers and preferably in the photocopying room; even in the poshest chambers. Geeklawyer feels unable to divulge more.
I have it from reliable sources that not only does sex frequently take place in the robing room but also in the court room during recess. And even..over the bench! If there is a sudden lull in Geeklawyer’s postings, we’ll know why. It’s only the nervous tension that keeps him going….
I must be appearing in the wrong courts!
I did know a desperate young chap who got himself thoroughly Mark Oatened by someone who is now a very well known QC in exchange for a pupillage - and no it wasn’t me
There was a time when sexual favours seemed to be the standard currency in exchange for pupillage. Maybe thats why I never got one! However I’m sure it has all changed now…
Who would have thought that the Liberal Democratic Party was the club to join to get some action! No wonder they could never summon up the energy to get elected. And such a wide range of activities available! I wonder what Ming has got up to in his time?
Bet they are wishing they had stuck with Kennedy.
I’m just a little bitter that no-one asked me for sexual favours in exchange for a pupillage. Even if the hideous bitch Mary Vittoria (now QC) had asked me to shag her in exchange for a pupillage & a tenancy I would have swallowed my dignity and agreed.
Now that is desperation, and unless you have an superior tale of self-degradation, I win.
Well I once had boisterous sex with defence Counsel in Court 2 of the Bailey. This wasn’t behind locked doors but in the middle of a trial, in front of the judge and jury. We just couldn’t help ourselves.
I had come round to fix the heating and it was a sweltering hot day. Miss X (I am the soul of discretion) offered me a cool drink from the jug on the bench but I knew she had something else on her mind. Before I had assuaged my thirst she had assuaged her thirst for me. She was all over me and with hindsight I’m surprised the judge didn’t intervene, or at least adjourn for 10 minutes.
I can’t help thinking that our mutual lust did interfere with the administration of justice. Miss X had been in the middle of cross examining the chief prosecution witness when I arrived with my tool box. Her client was ultimately convicted of murder and he had only been charged with conspiracy to defraud.
Still, I’ll never forget my legal lover and our bout of passion.
Do I win £5?
That sounds like the plot to a particularly bad porno movie, but £5 for the movie rights sounds OK. Speak to my lawyer. I had in Mind Robin Jacob as the Judge, Tracy Lords as Miss X and some random 6 pack as prosecuting counsel.
Or perhaps something like:![Miss Judge [porno]](http://images.dvdempire.com/res/movies/1/19070.jpg "Miss Judge [porno]")
. Tag line: “First the judge banged her gavel, then she banged the fresh faced young lawyer”.
Geeklawyer: the extent of your knowledge of these matters is worrying..